The Robin
by LanaaLuthor
Summary: The Dark Knight resurfaces when John Blake takes over Bruce Wayne's legacy. Barbara Gordon comes to Gotham. They surrender to consuming passion. Can they really be together when there's always danger on the horizon?
1. Prologue

**The Robin**

**Description: **The Dark Knight resurfaces when John Blake takes over Bruce Wayne's legacy. Barbara Gordon comes to Gotham. They surrender to consuming passion. Can they really be together when there's always danger on the horizon?

**AN**: I took some bits and pieces and characters from the comics universe, but ultimately it's of my own creation. Some things might seem familiar, but I will shape them into my own liking.

I don't own anything.

**Rating: **NC17

**Trailer: **youtube

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watch?v=r_x6xkHiSBY

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the whole link is in my profile

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**PROLOG**

John Blake threw away his badge in a moment of anger. In a moment of grief and unbelievable disappointment with the Gotham Police Force. He was no longer bounded by the law. He had enough of listening to orders he didn't think were right.

From the very beginning the police had been chasing the wrong man. Once Batman had made his grand comeback, all the task force had been sent after him, completely ignoring the real danger, ignoring Bane. That was the very first moment Blake felt helpless. He could not fight the system when being a part of it. He had to be above it. He couldn't abide to the law every single time. He wanted to take the law into his own hands.

The question was _how_?

Batman, The Dark Knight of the city, had just made the greatest sacrifice. He'd not only taken Harvey Dent's blame all those years ago, but now, even though he'd been hunted like a dog ever since, he sacrificed what he held dearest - his own life. And for what? For the people of Gotham. For the city he loved so much and couldn't stand being destroyed. That was the real hero. Not the police.

Once John had started working in the force he thought he could learn a lot from the commissioner, Jim Gordon, but even that man's hands were dirty. Nothing was right anymore. Bane might've been gone, but it didn't mean that the terror would end. The gates of Blackgate were opened and even though by now many of the fugitives were caught, a huge amount of them were still at large.

A city like Gotham would never have peace. There would always be a fight to win, people to protect. Batman could not be dead.

* * *

At first John felt lost. He wasn't a detective anymore, he was just a plain citizen of Gotham. He had no job and no money to cover the expenses of his own living, not to mention the costs that would cover bringing his new plan to life. He had no mentor, no place to train himself, nothing.

How could he safe anyone like that?

This was the first time he started to think that maybe him leaving the Force was an irrational choice made in the spur of the moment. After all, he was called a hot-head for a reason.

Now he was at the reading of Wayne's testament and found out that the Wayne Manor was left to one purpose only - to give a home to orphan children under the Wayne Foundation.

John smiled. Bruce had kept his word.

As he was walked out of the room and directed himself to the elevator he was suddenly stopped.

"Mr. Blake?" It was Alfred Pennyworth. "Can I speak to you for a moment?" he asked him and pointed the empty room on the end of the hall.

John followed Bruce's butler and the door closed behind them.

"What I'm about to tell you, I will tell you in confidence. You must not repeat this conversation to anyone, even if you decide to decline my offer."

"I don't understand," John admitted. "What offer?"

"After master Wayne's death I inherited everything, including a significant part of the manor if I wished to stay. I'm ready to give it to you and I'm willing to leave the managing of the Foundation to you as well. I'm leaving. There's nothing left for me in this city."

"Are you… Are you saying that I can manage the Wayne Foundation? Manage the orphanage?" John made sure. He would not pass on an opportunity like that. He was in a desperate need of a job anyway. Also, living in the manor meant being closer to all the things Bruce left behind. Being closer to Batman.

"Yes, that is what I am saying precisely and something tells me that master Wayne liked you for a reason. Are you willing?"

"Well, of course! Of course, I'm willing!" John nodded enthusiastically. "But I need to ask you something about Bruce first. It has nothing to do with his testament, but…"

"There's a duffel bag waiting for you under this address," Alfred handed him a small piece of paper instead. "You'll find there all you need to receive your answers."

John stared down at the address and then looked up at the old man's crinkly face again.

"But how do you…?" he started, but Alfred was already on his way to the door. "What if I need to contact you?" John asked another question, swirling around.

"You won't need to. I'm retiring," he said when opening the door and shooting the young man one last look. "I'm going to Florence. If you're in a need of advice or guidance, contact Lucius Fox. Goodbye, John Blake, and… good luck." He sent him a knowing smile and then he left.

_When the student is ready, a teacher will appear, _John remembered the well-known saying. It was happening to him right now, he could feel it, with the slight difference that his master was the legacy Bruce Wayne left him.

He needed to find out what that was.

* * *

"I need to find Jim Gordon," a young, panicked woman ran to the nurses' station in the Gotham General Hospital.

The nurse raised her head from the keyboard and asked suspiciously, "Are you a family member?"

"Yes!" the woman confirmed. "I need to see him, please! Is he all right?"

"Couple of bruises and minor injuries. He's pretty battered up, but it's nothing serious."

"Where can I find him?"

The nurse finally directed her to the right room.

As the young woman made her way to it she noticed that the door was opened and she could hear someone arguing.

"I'm telling you I'm sick of hospitals and I just want to go home!"

"Commissioner, I recommend…"

"Haven't you heard, doctor?" the man answered apprehensively. "I resigned."

"But…"

"Excuse me," the woman knocked on the door lightly. "May I?"

Both the men looked at her, but her eyes set on the old one with moustache. He was wearing his regular clothes and she could only guess that he put them on because he really wanted out of this place.

"Leave us," he told the doctor, his voice strangely strained as he took in the sight of the woman. She had dark red hair, she was tall, lean and slender and she looked just like…

The door closed behind an exasperated doctor as he murmured something like, "on your own responsibility! Don't say I didn't warn ya!"

Jim Gordon ignored him, too busy with watching the woman who clearly reminded him of someone. Someone a long time ago, even before his wife.

"Do I know you?" he finally asked, but he already knew the answer. He just needed to acknowledge it. He needed to hear her say it.

"No," she shook her head, "but you knew my mother, Thelma."

"Dear God," Jim exhaled and covered his mouth with his hand. "Are you… Could it be…"

"I'm your daughter," she said the words he wanted to hear so desperately.

* * *

The duffel bag Bruce had left for him was under his legal name. Under the name Robin.

How Bruce knew it was Robin John Blake? Was it a hint? A beginning of a new identity he would have to take on if he wanted to do this all the way?

He already had a place to live in the Wayne Manor and now he had all Bruce's secrets. There was a lot of sketches in the bag along with one that showed a piano in one of the manor's rooms. It seemed to be a secret passage into an underground cave.

John preferred to follow the coordinates he also found first.

It was a good choice as after crossing the waterfall he found himself in that very cave. All the things he needed were there.

The Batman, The Dark Knight would be reborn.


	2. Chapter 1

**Part 01**

**Three Months Later**

John finally reached the cave and parked the Batcycle, then he nearly stumbled down to the ground.

He wasn't used to wearing so much Kevlar. Then again, he wasn't exactly Bruce's size and adjusting the costume so it would fit was hard. He'd contacted Lucius Fox months ago and the man delivered a new suit. The problem was that the suit was not a typical Batman one, it was different, fitting John's taste rather than Bruce's. Still, John was apprehensive to wear it. He was afraid to show himself in the city as something different than Batman. Batman was loved, even worshipped. People trusted him, the police finally seemed to come around. John was pretty proud of how he carried on Bruce's legacy. The population of Gotham now believed Batman to be something more than just a man, nearly a god, an immortal even. They weren't ready to trust a completely new vigilante. They weren't ready to believe that Batman was, indeed, gone forever.

There was also another issue that John was reluctant to even think about. He wasn't ready himself. He wasn't ready to become a new hero, to wear a completely new costume. He wasn't ready to tell the world his real name. He'd been intensely training now for three months, but he still didn't have enough experience. The very first time he'd gotten out there as Batman was the first night he'd spent in the Wayne Manor. He'd gotten beaten up and nearly lost his fight with a fugitive from Blackgate. Eventually, he'd managed to deliver him to the authorities, but it was a very shameful experience for him. He wanted to be good, he wanted to be like Bruce, but he still had a long way to go. At first he'd even been scared that they'd notice he wasn't the real Batman. After all, his fighting skills weren't as good, he'd never been to the League of Shadows like Bruce had or studied martial arts abroad. He didn't have all those years studying on him like Bruce had before he came back to Gotham to face Ra's al Ghul.

John groaned as he nearly fell down, then limped to the nearest chair and finally sunk in it. Yes, Batman's life wasn't all glory, it was pain and struggle. It was hardship. There was no place for rest as Batman couldn't take a free day - or for that matter - night and recover. John was full of admiration toward Bruce Wayne for managing this identity for so long and for coming back, especially when he wasn't young anymore. He still remembered how he'd heard about what was happening in the sewers and come to Bruce to ask him to come back as Batman. He hadn't even realized back then what he'd been asking for.

There was still a long way to go, John thought as he managed to stand again and push through the pain. He reached the first aid kit he kept in one of the cabinets, then slowly shed the Batman costume and poured some iodine on the wound on his arm. He winced and clenched his teeth as it stung. The leg was sprained a little and there was nothing he could do about it, he just took a special ointment and some bandages, then slowly limped toward the secret passage that led to the piano room - conveniently a part of the manor that belonged only to him and no kids were allowed into.

As John found himself in his room he noticed the pile of papers he was to look into and some mail. He would have to do it another day, he sighed heavily and got in the shower. After washing and putting a compress on his leg, he lied down and was dead to the world immediately.

* * *

_Batman help catch another Blackgate fugitive_, the front page of the Gotham Times said.

Barbara put the paper down and reached for her steaming cup of coffee.

"Reading about Batman again?" Jim Gordon asked when stepping into the kitchen.

His daughter smiled to him. "That's the only exciting news in here." She shrugged.

"Good," Jim said and took the other chair by the table, then reached for the coffee pot. "This city had its share of bad guys and it doesn't need any more."

"Weren't you the one who said to me that it would never end and I should just leave?" she teased him.

"I did that for you own safety. We have peace now and hopefully, It'll last for a long time, but there'll be another villain in here. They always come."

"How pessimistic of you," Barbara scolded him. "One thing bothers me though. How Batman could've saved that explosion?"

"He didn't," Gordon answered bluntly.

"But the guy that's out there…" Barbara started.

"It's not that Batman. It's a new guy," Jim followed with an explanation.

"Do you know who that is?" his daughter kept on prompting him curiously.

"No, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but I don't." Yet, he did know. He wasn't sure, but it couldn't be a coincidence that ever since John Blake had resigned from the police department, the Batman had made his comeback. Gordon saw John very rarely those days and once he did, the younger man did not look good. He was always exhausted. He did run the Wayne Foundation, but it wouldn't consume so much of his energy and considering the place he was living in now, the conclusion was obvious. Gordon would never betray John. He believed in Batman and he owed everything to whoever was behind the mask. His little boy saved, even though his wife had left him, then his own life and the whole city as the bomb hadn't blown up in Gotham. What interested Gordon the most was who had fixed the lamp that was sending a signal that Batman was needed. At first he'd thought it was Bruce who miraculously survived and left the city to find peace and happiness somewhere else, his duty paid. Now he wasn't so sure. John could've fixed it just as well.

"Dad?" his daughter's voice came to him like through a fog. "Dad, are you even listening to me?" She didn't sound too pleased with him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"What were you thinking about?

"Nothing, just about the good old times."

"She'll come around, you know," Barbara said and reached her hand to touch her father's across the table.

He knew she was referring to his wife - or maybe soon to be ex wife.

"I don't think so. I sacrificed way too much for this city and faking my own death and letting them believe it… it was too much for her. Right after that the Joker tried to murder our son and she couldn't stand the danger anymore. I can't really blame her. At least she lets me see him."

"I'm sorry. I can only guess that my coming here didn't make this whole situation easier for you," Barbara's voice grew rather melancholic and guilty.

She'd appeared in Gotham as soon as there was a way in. She'd found out that she had a father a few weeks before that and she needed to meet him. She'd just gotten her phd and received a lot of various propositions for a future career. She was the best and people wanted her to work for them. Eventually, she'd chosen to become the head of the Gotham Library, one of the biggest on the whole continent. Her passion were books and she couldn't wait until she would get to run the library. Now she did.

"No, it's fine. You've given me a new purpose. What would I do here all alone and retired?" Gordon asked, sending her a small smile. "Now, don't you need to get to work?"

"Yeah, I do, but first I need to run an errand," she said when standing up and gathering her purse along with her coat.

"What kind of an errand?" Gordon asked.

"I need to kick someone's ass, that's all." She winked at her father and left his house.

* * *

It was the fourth time Barbara rang the doorbell when finally, the door opened showing… no one.

"Who are you?" she, then, heard a voice that must belong to a child.

She looked down and saw a boy who looked six, maybe seven years old.

"Hi, I'm Barbara Gordon. It's ok, I'm Jim Gordon's daughter," she said, smiling to the boy.

"Jim Gordon is not a com…." The child stopped, wincing as he was trying to pronounce the word right. "Commi.."

"Commissioner," Barbara helped him. "Yes, he isn't anymore, but he can still be trusted. He helped Batman save Gotham, remember?"

"Of course, I remember!" the boy yelled enthusiastically. "I was in the bus that day! Batman flew over the city and then the bomb exploded away from us! He saved us all!"

Barbara couldn't help but keep smiling fondly at the little boy. She really liked him.

"Could you call John Blake for me?" she finally asked.

"He's still sleeping," the boy replied.

Barbara elevated her eyebrows. "Still?" she made sure. "I'll show this son of…" she suddenly stopped, terrified that the boy could've heard the bad word she wasn't supposed to use in front of him. "What's your name?" she calmed herself down and crouched in front of the little guy.

"Malcolm," the answer came.

"Is there any grown-up in here?"

"We have a lot of nannies, but they're all in the garden, playing with the other kids."

"Why aren't you playing with them?" Barbara asked.

"I needed to go to the bathroom and when I was coming back, I heard the doorbell."

"Are you even allowed to open the door?" she asked again.

Malcolm just shrugged and threw his hands into the air, making such a funny face that Barbara needed to laugh.

"All right." She stood up and grasped his hand as she walked inside, the door closing behind them. The entrance hall was enormous. She thought that all the orphans must've really liked it here. Every child's dream was to live in a castle and it was a good gesture from Bruce Wayne's side to let them have this manor. Who would think that a man who was thought to be an eccentric and a playboy would do something like that? Barbara guessed that one could never really judge anyone until they got to know them for who they really were and not for who the papers were creating them to be.

Well, that did not apply to John Gordon, of course. The man gave up the police for this. At first Barbara thought it was a nice gesture to manage the Wayne Foundation as John himself was raised in an orphanage, but now she begun to think that it was just all convenient for him. He lived in a castle now and slept till late. Men were really all the same.

"I really need to speak with Blake," she turned to the child. "Is there any way you could go over to him and wake him up?" she asked.

"Well, I can, but you have to promise not to tell anyone and make John not mad at me."

Malcolm was such a sweet kid and she sent him a smile again, all the rage washing away from her.

"All right. You've got a deal."

Malcolm smiled back and ran to the left wing of the manor.

* * *

Barbara had been pacing around the hall for a good amount of twenty minutes before John Blake deigned to appear.

She turned around to face him and saw a very tired man who was just rubbing his eyes.

"Hi, I'm John Blake," he introduced himself as he reached his hand to her. "Nice to meet you."

"Barbara Gordon," she said coldly and shook his hand.

"Gordon?" John repeated, frowning. "As a Jim Gordon's daughter?"

"Yes," she answered curtly. She wasn't in the mood for a conversation with this man. She was way too angry with him.

"I didn't know he had one."

"Well, three months ago he didn't know either," she replied, her lips a one thin line.

"Sorry, I haven't been around much lately."

"Oh, really?" She raised eyebrows. "Was that before you were partying so hard last night?"

John clearly didn't understand her. "Excuse me?"

"I've been waiting for you for a good part of half an hour. I ring the door and a child answers. I send you mail and you don't reply. What am I supposed to think? You've spoiled yourself, John Blake and apparently, you love living in this house a little bit too much."

"The what again?" He was dumfounded now. "What are you talking about? I wasn't partying last night, I was… busy," he finished lamely.

"Oh, I see." She nodded, a knowing expression on her face.

"Oh, no!" he suddenly denied. "No, no, no… it's not what you think… it's just… I've been really busy and…"

"I don't care about what you were or weren't doing!" Barbara raised her voice, furious. And why did he have to be so damn handsome, she thought, trying hard not to notice that particular feature. "I just care that you ignored me!"

"I didn't! I'm here!"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want to make a scene here where the kids could hear her cursing.

"Ok, can we just go back and start over?" John asked. "Please, just explain the mail thing and how I ignored you when I don't even know you."

"Fine," she said hard. "I'm the head of the Gotham Library. I sent you mail to invite the children from the Wayne Foundation to come and borrow some books. You never replied. Is that clear enough for you?" she asked in an exasperated voice.

John actually laughed. She could really wipe that smirk off his face.

"Ok, Barbie," he started and was interrupted right away.

"I'm not a fucking Barbie!" she screamed and then suddenly stopped, looking around in panic. "Did any of the children hear me? What do you think?"

John was so amused right now that he kept on laughing. This woman was infuriating, but she was also beautiful and passionate and he couldn't help but be attracted to her.

"If you keep it up, they might," he told her.

"It's not funny."

"It is. What am I supposed to call you? Barbara is too long and too official, unless you really want me to call you miss Gordon. That just sounds like a spinster."

"You…" Barbara started, rage evident on her face, but she suppressed it. "Did you read that damn mail or not?" she asked through clenched teeth. "You know, if you hate books and rather do things that I don't want to know, doesn't mean that the kids in here should do the same! They need a better role model. You know, when my mum was sick throughout my whole childhood the books I was reading helped me through it."

She stopped talking and they just looked at each other. She felt awkward. She always had a huge mouth and couldn't really keep things to herself. Why would she tell him about her mother? He didn't need to know that!

Barbara actually saw something that looked like compassion and understanding on his face and that surprised her when coming from him.

"I love books," John answered calmly and honestly. "I just don't have much time for reading right now. I wish I did, really. And I'm sorry about your mother. My parents were shot when I was little and I didn't get to be raised in such a fancy home like this one," he looked around the hall, "I was in the orphanage. When I reached sixteen I was let go, because there was not enough budget to cover my living there."

"Oh," escaped Barbara's mouth. She felt stupid. Maybe she'd, indeed, judged him too fast. There could be a million ways to explain him not reading the mail and sleeping up till late.

"I joined the force, because I wanted to make a change in the city," he told her, "I wanted to protect the people of Gotham so there wouldn't be so much causalities. So a boy could welcome his parents home at night."

"Why did you quit, then?" she asked, suddenly interested in his story.

"It just wasn't the way… About the mail," he switched topics quickly. "I didn't read it and I am sorry for that. I'll tell you what, I'll bring the kids to the library, say… Saturday? Is that good for you?" he proposed, surprising her once more.

For a moment there she couldn't find her tongue to speak. She was too busy studying John's expression. She couldn't really decipher this man and it was driving her crazy. Again. He really looked like a god guy and from what she'd heard from her father, he really was. What was his problem, then?

"That's just fine."

"Perfect." He smiled to her. "Would you like to stay for breakfast?" he suggested. "I haven't eaten yet."

"No, thank you. I have a job to get to," she replied.

"As you wish. See you around… Barbie…" he said and disappeared fast enough.

All she managed to do was to sputter in rage, but he was gone already.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN**: Thank you for the warm reception and the interest in this story!

I used Emma Stone in the trailer and in the cover picture and now, as I'm writing the scenes with Barbara, I can't help but imagine this actress. Her tone of voice and the faces she usually makes in her movies fit Barbara's character so much!

* * *

**Part 02**

"I met John Blake today," Barbara told her father once she got home from work. "At first I thought he was a total jackass, but now I'm starting to change my mind. Maybe he really is a good guy like you said, dad. There's just something about him," she stopped and thought hard, "I don't know. I can't quite decipher him and that's intriguing. I'm usually good at reading people and I can't read him."

Jim Gordon raised his eyes from the TV and looked at his daughter. Her interest was piqued. He knew her well enough by now to recognize this state. He also knew that she loved research and she kept digging long enough till she found her answer. That was not a good thing, not when it came to John Blake.

"Yes, he's a good kid," Jim nodded, weighing his words carefully, "but I think you should stay away from him."

"I what?" Barbara asked in surprise. "And why is that exactly? Is he a serial killer or something? Or it's because he's poor? I would expect you, dad, of all the people to actually be able to look past such things, even when it's about your own daughter."

"So you're in love with him now?!" Gordon queried, completely taken aback.

"What?! No!" Barbara denied. "I'm just saying that I don't understand your prejudice toward him since he's such a great guy and all."

Jim found himself in quite the predicament, he thought as Barbara walked to her room, murmuring something about shower. Gordon never had to deal with a daughter as he'd been raising a son and now he started to think that girls were ever bigger challenges. Now he finally understood the father's need to protect his little girl form all the men that seemed bad for her, even when that girl was already a grown-up.

In her bathroom, Barbara stripped off her clothes and got into the shower.

"Stay away from him!" she huffed under her nose. "Don't you know, dad, that it's the worst thing you can actually say to a daughter? Now I won't stop till I figure this man out! Argh!" She squeezed to much shampoo into her hand. "Great! Now I need to buy a new one!"

* * *

John knew he had to be in the library on time, but he so wished he could stay in bed for a just little longer. Last night had been terrible for him. He'd needed to deal with four criminals and gotten beaten up pretty badly. Also, one of those guys seemed to be more experienced in mortal combats then John himself was. There was also something different about those attacks now. He no longer chased after the fugitives from Blackgate. He found more and more people who wanted to hurt others. Just two nights ago there was a bomb threat, luckily for him, the police had disarmed it and nothing had blown up, but it was close. It seemed like Gotham would soon not be such a quiet and peaceful place after all. It was like there was a new threat on the horizon and quite frankly, John wasn't sure if he was up to the challenge so soon.

His alarm clock wouldn't stop ringing and he finally raised his hand to shut it up, then groaned loudly into his pillow. He was so tired he had doubts if he could walk properly, but he had no other choice. He made a promise to a lady, after all. He just wished she'd known how hard he tired for her. He still didn't know what it was about her that captivated him so fast. It certainly hadn't happened before. There were girls, a few less or more serious girlfriends, but he'd never been that much interested in them like he seemed to be now in Barbie. It was crazy, he knew it, since he'd just met her, but he would like to see where this could go. He still hadn't figured out how to manage a double identity, work on the foundation and potential dating, but he would get to that eventually.

The first step now would be to get out of the deliciously soft bed.

He groaned again and a scowl appeared on his face as he finally raised himself up and padded to the bathroom. Maybe a cold shower would wake him up. No, bad idea, hot one would be better, he decided. Next, he put some jeans and a shirt on, then decided that he needed a couple of shots of black coffee.

* * *

The Gotham library was huge and once the kids stepped inside they all went quiet, watching in awe the long and tall wooden shelves full of books, one row after the other that seemed to go on and on into infinity.

John had already been there before, reading a lot and studying here just like Barbara had been doing in her childhood. The place had changed since he last seen it though. It was back when he'd become an officer of the law. His job eating away on all the free time he'd had. Now John didn't remember when was the last time he'd had a book in his hand.

This place was clearly restored, the selves redone, the floor polished, the walls freshly painted what could be sensed in the air mixed with the smell of old books.

Finally, John stopped admiring the place and walked over to the receptionist's desk. The woman was already watching him closely.

"I have an appointment with miss Gordon," he said.

"Name?"

"Blake. John Blake."

The woman looked into her itinerary and finally, she said, "of course. I'll call miss Gordon immediately. She should be right here."

"Can we go look for some books?" one of the kids asked John.

"Just wait a few minutes, ok?" he turned to them. "First you need to hear a few words about the library and the rules, then I guess you need to have an account here, and then you can go look for some books. You can take them home if you like, but you can't destroy them or lose them. They also needed to be returned in time," he found himself explaining. He barely stifled a yawn on the last word. He really needed a good night sleep, maybe even two, and he needed it badly.

"Well, good hand with the kids you've got there," he heard a female voice coming from behind him and he turned to face her.

"Barbie, hi. I'm on time as promised," he greeted her with a smile. She was beautiful, wearing black pants and a green blouse that really brought up the green in her eyes. The outfit matching her hair perfectly.

She narrowed her eyes at him, hating the nickname and he congratulated himself for making her angry so fast. She was beautiful when she was furious.

"Mr. Blake," she said coldly and reached out her hand to him.

He shook it and held a little longer than it was necessary.

Barbara ignored him and turned to the kids. "Your guardian kind of stole my thunder there," she said with a smile, "but I still need a add a few things to what he said."

As she was talking about the rules, John found himself not listening at all, instead he was watching her face. When she finally looked at him and caught him staring, he scolded himself for getting to like her so soon and thought once again that it was crazy. Then he noticed the sparks and amusement in her eyes as she noticed his embarrassment.

Finally, a few of her employees came over and each took care of a few kids so it would go smoothly and they could choose some books for themselves.

John and Barbara were left alone.

"You just won't stop, will you?" she asked when coming closer to him.

"Stop what exactly?" he asked, confused.

"That stupid nickname."

"I think it's brilliant."

"It's stupid," she repeated adamantly.

"Well, you don't need to feel offended by it. You're not a typical shallow Barbie."

"Oh, so I'm not?" she scoffed. "Good to know!"

"You can treat it as an oxymoron," John suggested proudly. "It's too much fun to call you like this anyway, so nah, I won't stop."

There was a greening idiot standing right in front of her and she knew she should've just ignored him and left him there, but she didn't. She couldn't. She'd been too invested in him by now. She was always rather an obsessive person and she really needed to get to the bottom of John Blake's secret. It was too alluring not to discover it. The fact that she seemed to actually like him couldn't hurt.

"So, are you rested enough today?" she asked. "The last time I saw you, you were barely keeping yourself on your feet. Something's changed?"

_Nah, just five cups of coffee, _John thought, but didn't tell her that.

"I had a good night sleep," he just shrugged. "I need to ask, how is Jim Gordon doing?" he changed the topic again and it didn't miss her attention.

"He's fine, although it's still hard for him to get used to his retirement. He misses the Force a little too much, but even if he wanted to come back, they wouldn't let him. Not after finding out about Harvey Dent."

"Oh, yeah, that one," John nodded, remembering how he himself had told Jim that his hands were very dirty. It was true. Even good people made mistakes and there were always consequences.

"And if it wasn't for that, I would be afraid that he would be killed on the very first mission. He's not young anymore," there was sadness evident in Barbara's voice.

"You're worried about him," John noticed.

They started walking along the rows of books as they talked.

"Of course, I am. Without him I'm all alone in this world. He's all I've got, the only family I have," she confessed. "I wish I knew about him sooner."

"Can I ask why your mother didn't tell you?" John tried carefully. She started opening up to him and he didn't want to screw that up. She was lonely and she clearly needed someone to talk to. He felt lucky that this person turned out to be him.

"It was a short but passionate love affair and when it happened my father was a young officer. Kind of like you if you didn't quit," Barbara hinted, really wanting to know why John had done it. What he'd already told her wasn't enough. "My mother hated Gotham, hated the crime rate here," she continued as John didn't say anything. "She decided to leave. She couldn't convince my father and they had a huge fight. She was just afraid that he'd get himself killed and she wasn't strong enough to handle the possibility. She got a prestige job in Star City, so she moved. She found out she was pregnant when she was already there and decided not to tell my father. She wanted to protect me on her own way. She only told me about him on her death bed."

"Were you angry at her?" John asked, studying Barbara's face.

"Yes…" she admitted, "but I couldn't be. I held it all inside, bottled up. I couldn't be mad at her. She was dying. She wanted the best for me. We just saw things in a different way."

"How do you see things?"

"We never know how much time we have," she said as she stopped and faced him. "We can't keep ourselves away from those that love us, no matter what. I could've as easily gotten hit by a bus in Star City as I can get shot here."

"That's an interesting theory," John noticed.

"What is it about you, John Blake?" she suddenly asked, looking him straight in the eye. "There's something in you beside that infuriating façade, something that makes me trust you."

"That's because you can," he found himself saying, mesmerized by the green in her eyes.

"My father told me the same thing, but he also told me that I should stay away from you," she said and laughed. "I wonder why?"

John's smile faded. Gordon would want his only daughter to be safe. If she started dating him, John Robin Blake, she could get hurt if let her into his secret. Could he keep her in the dark about the whole thing? No, he wouldn't do that. He wasn't that cruel. She would be left alone almost every night, wondering where he was, wondering if he cheated on her and he wouldn't be able to tell her the truth.

"Are you ok?" she got concerned. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he answered fast, pushing those thoughts away. He could spend some time with her. It didn't mean he had to seriously commit to any relationship.

"Why won't you tell me something about yourself then?" she asked, but in the same moment Malcolm ran toward them.

"Look what I've got!" He showed them the _Huckleberry Finn _novel.

"Will you be able to read it to the very end?" John made sure.

"I will!" Malcolm answered, determined to take the challenge. "The lady that helped me said it's a popular children book."

"Until you grow up and realize what it's really about…" Barbara murmured under her nose and John was the only one who could hear her.

"It's a great choice, Malcolm. You'll like it. It's about a boy who's just like you. A boy who's all alone in the world and needs to survive in it."

Malcolm sent them a huge smile.

"Oh, and the lady said to tell you that we're ready to go back," the boy added.

John sighed in disappointment. Or maybe it was a good thing, because he could feel the coffee wearing off and leaving him tired and strangely dazed.

"I'll be right there," he promised the boy.

"Goodbye, miss Gordon!" Malcolm shouted and was gone.

Barbara was watching him running off with a fond smile on her face.

"I really like that kid," she said to John.

"Go out with me," John just blurted out.

"What?!" she asked, raising her voice, completely surprised by the sudden change in their conversation.

"Come on, we'll have fun, I promise," he said, smiling to her. "You can't tell you weren't expecting it."

"You said it so out of the blue and so fast like you were ripping a bandage," she said, clearly teasing him and waiting for his answer.

"I was just nervous, that's all," John replied. "So? What's your answer gonna be?"

"All right," she agreed, not really knowing if it was the undeniable chemistry they shared or the fact that she wanted to know more about him. Or maybe it was just one and the same thing?

"When can I pick you up?"

"Well, I don't have much work to do Wednesday, so why don't you just show up here at six?"

"It's a date," he said. "See you, Barbie!"

This time she actually smiled.

As John walked out of the library with the kids, Malcolm ran to him and said, "You should marry miss Gordon. She's so beautiful and nice."

John burst out laughing. In a child's eyes things were always so simple. He nearly missed that blissful ignorance. He'd grown up, he'd gotten to know the world. He'd realized that feelings, that love were not as easy and simple like in fairy tales. Sometimes love wasn't enough. Sometimes there was no happy ending. When John had been a kid, he'd never understood adults saying those things, but now he did.

"You think so?" he said to Malcolm, tousling the boy's hair. It was not the time for the adult speech about the real life. When living in such a city like Gotham, Malcolm should stay a kid as long as he could.


	4. Chapter 3

**Part 03**

He was so screwed, he thought as he made his way through the city fast, breathing hard, his hands clenched into fists. John felt like a car had just rolled over him and he was late. He was fucking late for the very first date with Barbara! Maybe it was just his luck. No vigilante could have a private life, not to mention a romance. There was just no time for it and he could never make it for the date. How long until he would run out of silly excuses? How long before he would actually hurt the one person he cared about?

Just an hour ago he had stopped a bank robbery but earned a bullet straight into his chest. Luckily for him, the Batman suit was made out of Kevlar, so it saved his life, but in the same time left in such a pain that at first he'd thought he wouldn't be able to move and get out of the crime scene on time. The first thing he'd done when coming back to the manor was to get into the shower so some hot water would alleviate the stinging in his chest. It hadn't helped that much and as he'd looked in the mirror, there had already been a huge bruise forming. One glance at the clock made him realize that he was late, so now he was on his way, going as fast as he could, but probably still not fast enough. There was just too much pain involved. He wondered how on earth Bruce Wayne had been doing it all when being Batman. He'd been saving the city, running the company and attending all those parties to maintain his cover.

John had no time to figure that out and even if he could ask Bruce about it, it would not be worth contacting him and risking blowing his cover and his new life.

Finally, John reach the library and could see Barbara pacing in front of it already.

"Barbara," he said, speaking with difficulty as his breathing was really erratic now. "I'm so sorry… I…" he started, choosing for once to call her by her full name. He couldn't risk her being even more furious at him. And she was livid, he could tell by the look on her face.

"Save it," she cut him off.

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._

She did notice him being breathless as he must've been trying to get to the library on time, but him trying didn't make her less angry. He should've been there earlier. She deserved some respect.

"I stayed this long, because I simply wanted to tell you off!" she informed him. "A gentleman shows up on fucking time!"

John scowled at her choice of words.

"And a gentleman doesn't make the lady fucking wait!" she continued, her language an evidence of her indignation.

"Ok, ok," John stopped her when raising his hands. "Please, just…"

"What?!" she growled at him. "Calm down? Let me tell you, John fucking Blake that…"

"Barbara, please, give me another chance," he simply asked. He didn't even know why he did it. He realized that it would be for the best if she just dumped him right there on the spot. He knew that there wasn't a place for her in his life, but he didn't care. Something spoke those words for him. Something told him to fight for her, for this date. He needed to prove to her that he was sorry and that he could make everything right again. He wanted to try. He couldn't let her go just yet. Not before they even started.

"Please, give me another chance," he repeated. "If I could've been here earlier, I would've, I promise."

"Oh, really? Then what was so important that kept from it?" she asked the perfect question, folding her arms over her chest.

"Well, I…" he started, frantically looking for a good explanation, because 'I got shot in the chest. Why? Oh, right. You know, I'm the new Batman' didn't seem to be the right one. "We have chickenpox… I mean, the kids have it. I needed to stay with them until the doctor examined all and prescribed them something on it… it's a nightmare, so you should stay away from the manor for a while," he came up with, apologizing silently for using the kids to explain himself.

Barbara narrowed her eyes at him.

"Is Malcolm all right?" she finally asked.

"Oh, yes, he's fine. Just making fun of all those spots… and scratching, of course," John stopped and there was silence. He could tell that Barbara was hesitating now.

"I'm asking for one chance. I'll take you to the most beautiful place in Gotham," he suggested.

"Does this city even have a nice place?" she asked, this time her voice being a little bit warmer.

"Only one way to find out. Come on, what do you have to lose?" he asked, looking her in the eye. He so did not want to lose her now. He didn't know just yet how this could work, but he only cared about what mattered to him in this very moment. He wanted this.

"All right," she finally caved. "But it better be good."

"Come," he took the lead.

"I think you owe me your life story after what I told you the other day in the library," she demanded when they started walking.

"I think my story is even sadder than yours," he finally said after good two minutes of silence. Barbara somehow knew that she shouldn't push. John was still a mystery to her, especially when he seemed to be in a contradiction with his very self. Once he was letting her down, the other time he was so wonderful. She really couldn't understand why that was. He cared, that much she knew, but if he did, then why he was acting so wrong sometimes?

"My parents were shot dead when I was a kid and I spent all the time till I was sixteen in the orphanage," John finally informed her. "In this city no one really wants to adopt. It's dangerous, people don't have enough money to support a child and if they do, they support their own or leave this place for good. Once you're a orphan and past the baby age, you have less than a zero chance to find a new home."

"I'm sorry," Barbara finally voiced her compassion. "It must've been tough."

"It was," John admitted, keeping his hands in the pockets of his jeans. As soon as he'd seen her today he somehow managed to forget about the physical pain in his chest like she was his medicine. He really loved being in her presence. "I was very angry for a very long time," he admitted, "what made my chances to find a family even lower. Then I learnt how to control that anger, how to keep it inside in order to survive, to not attract any unnecessary attention to me. The last thing I wanted was to get a curator. When I was sixteen, I was on my own. I needed to find a job and a place to live, because there was not enough funds to keep me in the orphanage…" his voice trailed off for a while as he was remembering how hard it was for him back then. "I'm still angry," he confessed. "But I've learnt that anger won't lead me anywhere."

He was surprised when he felt Barbara's hand going around his own as he released it out of his pocket. They walked for a moment in silence, just holding on to each other and for the first time, John truly felt like he wasn't so lonely anymore.

Now they stepped into the dark trees.

"John…" Barbara started, looking around.

"Just trust me," he said and squeezed his hand a little. "I'm not planning on getting you into the forest and killing you, I promise," he joked and she laughed.

"I hope so," she said.

"When I was five years old, just a month before my parents got killed," John started again, "they led me this path," he pointed the ground, "to a place where I got my favorite memories with them. I haven't showed it to anyone ever since, but I really wanted to take you here."

They got out of the trees and stepped into a small clearing surrounded by trees and the Gotham river.

Barbara didn't say anything, she just let go off his hand and made her way to the shore.

There was something like a small beach there, a place where she could picture little John playing and bathing in the water that twenty years ago had not been as dirty as it was now. She could hear his laugh, she could even see his parents' smiley faces. And then, a month later everything had been taken away from this little boy. Joy was replaced by fear. Serenity and blissfulness by anger.

"Whenever I feel helpless or angry, I always come here," he said when standing right next to her and looking into the distance at one of the bridges. "It always calms me down when nothing else works. It gives me strength to go on, because I know that my parents wouldn't want me to give up."

Barbara looked at him and they stood in silence for a moment, right in front of each other.

"I can't read you, John Blake," she finally spoke. "One moment I'm furious with you and I never want to see you again and then the next, it's just the opposite."

"Well, I'm not one of your books," he told her, feeling like he could drown in the green of her eyes. He still had no idea how to fit her into his world, but at this moment he only wanted her there by his side. He didn't think about the future. "I'm real," he added and then he decided to risk it all and he gently kissed her on the lips.

As his mouth touched hers and she didn't push him away, he did more. He kissed her more fully, then opened his mouth to taste her lower lip with his tongue.

To his astonishment, she actually started kissing him back and then put her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her body, deepening the kiss as well. It was a perfect moment for them. They were in the probably most beautiful place in Gotham that no one but them knew existed and they found themselves consumed by the sudden fire they felt. Things get heated as they lost themselves in the kiss, they tongues playing with each other.

It was only when Barbara's hand slid to John's chest that he groaned loudly and this time not from pleasure.

"What's wrong?" Barbara asked when John pulled away and took a deep, erratic breath. "Are you all right? You're not getting any chickenpox, are you?"

He laughed, but that only caused him more pain.

"No," he shook his head with his eyes closed and a scowl appeared on his face.

"Was my kiss so bad?" she tried again.

"God, no, it was perfect," he answered and finally opened his eyes, meeting her greens. "I just… I just slip in the shower this morning and hit the tap very hard right here," he pointed his chest.

"Aren't you clumsy," she just said, shaking her head. "All right then. It's getting late. I think we should be heading back."

"If you want."

"I don't," she told him, "but this is Gotham. We can't wander around during the night. No offense, John, but the criminals out there can beat you."

John couldn't tell her that with him she was the safest. Then he started wondering that if he was as good without the suit on. He was training hard every day despite his exhaustion, but still, it wasn't enough. He didn't have experience as big as Bruce Wayne had.

"Let me walk you home then," he suggested and put one of his arms around her. He was glad when she didn't oppose and they made their way back to the street.

"You know, there's this gala next week in the library," Barbara started, "to celebrate the renovation. Everyone that means something in Gotham will be there. You should come with me. You run the foundation now and you need to show yourself a little. Make some contacts."

John looked at her with smile on his face.

"Are you asking me out on a second date?" he asked.

"Maybe," she smiled back to him. "What do you say?"

"Well, the first date must be a success after all," he preened. "Of course, I will go with you."

"Don't get too cocky. I'm doing you a favor. You need to meet all the influential people in Gotham. You do live in the Wayne manor after all."

"Uhm…" He nodded, still smiling knowingly at her. Then he leaned toward her and kissed her goodnight. "I had a great time with you."

"Me too," she admitted. "Just try not to be late for the gala, will you? I've already given you a second chance."

"You've got it!" After having said that and making sure she got inside her house safely, John left.

The front door closed and Barbara walked on tiptoes to her room, doing her best not to wake her father.

Her efforts were all futile though. Jim Gordon was sitting in a couch in the living room in the dark, waiting for her out of worry. It was Gotham after all.

Once he saw through the window with whom she had spent the night and how she actually let him kiss her, he began worrying even more.

John Blake was trouble.

Only Jim Gordon didn't know how to tell that to Barbara without divulging John's secret.


	5. Chapter 4

**Part 04**

The night before the gala was unusually quiet and John didn't have to go out as Batman even once. It came as a surprise to him, but he chose not to dwell on it as he could be finally on time to meet Barbara tonight. He didn't know how she would've handled him being late again. So far everything went perfect and John didn't want to wonder why. What mattered was that he was already dressed up in his best suit and all that was left was to actually show up on time to escort Barbara to the Gotham Library.

Once he found himself in the right place and on time, he couldn't really believe his luck.

And then she opened the door and he saw her all dressed up in a beautiful emerald dress that exposed her body just enough for it to be classy and sexy in the same time. He was speechless and they were just standing there in silence for a moment. Finally, he raised his eyes to her own and saw the exact reflection of his expression on her face. She really liked the way he looked dressed up in a suit as well, he realized happily.

"Good evening, Barbie," he finally spoke, smiling to her and just loving how her expression changed at the sound of his favorite nickname for her. "You look gorgeous," he paid her a complement and her face softened.

"You get points for being on time tonight," she finally spoke, "but then I need to take them away for calling me Barbie. Can't you just say Babs?"

"Babs?" he raised his eyebrows as he heard that one. "It doesn't really suit you."

"Oh, really? And Barbie does?" she asked, clearly exasperated, but already tired of arguing about that. "You don't look too bad yourself, you know," she said when glancing at him one more time before she left her house.

"Is your father home?" he asked.

"He's already out," she answered.

"He still doesn't like that we're dating, does he?" John prompted when holding her hand as they walked toward the library. Car wasn't necessary as it was very close. John felt good that Barbara didn't seem to be afraid of any possible mugging on the street in his company and it meant a lot to him. It meant that she felt safe when being with him.

"Well, to be honest, we haven't talked about it yet," Barbara admitted.

"Oh…"

"Don't be so tense about it," she said like she could sense the change in his demeanor. "My dad doesn't tell me what to do. I'm the only one who have the power over my life and if I want to date you, I will."

John wanted to tell her the truth so badly, but he knew what had happened to Bruce Wayne's first love. He knew enough now from what Bruce had written in his final letter to him along with some clues to how John should step into his shoes. He could feel the inevitable coming, the break up he would have to endure with Barbara even though it was the last thing he wanted. He liked her too much, he wanted her too much to just let her go, but he might not have a choice. He decided not to think about it now and just enjoy this evening with her.

They reached the library as many influential people by now and then they stepped inside. The building was big enough for the gala to take place there among the row of ancient books and in the enormous hall. It actually made for a great atmosphere.

"Miss Gordon," the man guarding the door bowed to her. "Everyone's waiting for you."

"Thank you, George," Barbara sent him a smile. "I hope they're not planning anything," she, then, murmured to John.

"I wouldn't be surprised. After all, you are the one to bring this library back to life."

"I'm just hoping for some sponsors tonight," she replied, "we're in desperate need for founding for new books. I don't want any…" she was cut off by the sudden applause.

As soon as they found themselves inside, all the people that were already waiting for Barbara, started clapping and making toasts for her.

"And there she is!" somebody called. "Barbara Gordon, the daughter of our ex commissioner Jim Gordon! She is the one we need to thank for putting a new life into this library! What miss Gordon is doing, ladies and gentleman, is a very important work! We need to bring as many young people to this place as possible to give them a chance to grow up into nice and educated young men! Raise your glass to Barbara Gordon!"

John couldn't be more proud of his companion at this moment. He watched Barbie's face carefully, not wanting to miss any detail. After tonight, he might not be able to date her anymore, he thought sadly. She meant so much to him and she didn't even know it. She didn't know that he would have to leave her for her own good. She would hate him, he was sure of that. He only had those brief few moments with her before he would be condemned to a nightlife of a lone protector.

It was the life he had chosen, the kind of life that was calling to him and there was not really anything else there for him. He had a chance to save many and give them hope for the future. It was worth his own personal happiness.

"Come here, Barbara, we have something for you!" the man called her and then when she still didn't move, too stunned to make a step forward, John pushed her gently, whispering into her ear that she deserved it and that it was her moment.

Finally, she made her way to the man who was holding a silver statue, probably a token of appreciation for her.

As Barbara finally accepted it, smiling softly to everyone, John realized that he never knew this side of her. She seemed to actually be very nice to everyone, well, except him when she had met him and even now, she seemed to be agitated by him. He suddenly wished to get to know every single side of her. She seemed to be surprising him in every single moment they spent together. He never wanted to let that go. He wanted her to be so nice and warm toward him as well.

Finally, the music started and people started dancing, talking, just socializing. Barbara made her way back to him.

"Congratulations," John smiled to her and handed her a glass of wine. She shook her head.

"All right, then," he shrugged and put the glass back on the bar. "I think you will get your founding now," he said and held her instead, they started dancing to the rhythm of the slow music that was just playing.

"I hope so. I really didn't expect such a fuss. I barely did anything…"

"You did a lot," John disagreed, looking her in the eye. "Hey, you got Malcolm to actually read a whole book. That counts for something." He winked at her.

Barbara laughed deliciously.

"Seriously though, there's still so much to do. I just barely opened this place and there's still so I want…"

"And you made it beautiful," John cut in, still looking into her eyes. He could as well never stop. "Just look around." He swirled her around and she laughed again.

"Thank you for being here with me, John Blake," she said. "I don't know how I would manage it all alone. It's too overwhelming. I actually was a valedictorian in my university, but this… this seems to be so much more. People finally notice my work, not just the way I study."

"Well, get used to it, because I'm pretty sure there's much more to come in the future," John said seriously. "I believe in you."

In that very moment she actually leaned into him and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. He reciprocated.

"Is your chest all right tonight?" she asked as they hugged and danced slowly like that.

"Yes," he rasped into her ear, feeling too much at once. The smell of her perfume invaded his sense, her breath on his neck undid him completely and the heat coming off of her body…

She suddenly moved away from him.

"I can see my dad," she said. "Shall we go talk to him?"

The moment was broken. John actually felt fear when she suggested that. What would happen if he just casually went over to Jim Gordon while being his daughter's date? Would Jim take him aside and give him a lecture about how he should stay away from Barbara? He wasn't sure he was ready for it. Maybe first they shou…

Suddenly, he heard the police sirens and he didn't really know whether he was grateful for them or just the opposite. On the one hand, he felt relieved that he could just go and avoid Jim Gordon, on the other, he didn't really want to leave Barbara.

"I… I think you should go alone at first, just… prepare him for the news," John found himself suggesting. "I'll go to the bathroom and then come find you two. What do you say?"

She shrugged.

"Just hurry," she said and disappeared in the crowd, going into her father's direction.

John had to sneak out now. People of Gotham might need him. Someone's life might need saving. It was his duty to protect them.

He was lucky he had hid the Batcycle in the corner earlier that day. He also had a spare suit there. It was one of the older Batman models, but it would have to do. He didn't have time for a trip to the Wayne manor after all. He turned the police scanner that was built-in in the dashboard on.

"…armed man, holding a gun to a hostage's head. He says he wants to speak to Batman…" John heard and speeded up. It was happening again. He could feel it. It was what everybody seemed to waiting for anyway. There was peace, but it wouldn't last long before another maniac would try to destroy the city. "…suspect unidentified," the policeman notified, "he calls himself the Riddler, but it's not his real name for sure."

Finally, John reached his destination and stepped off the Batcycle. There were about five police cars surrounding a building near the port. On the roof there was a figure holding someone and as they had said on the police radio, putting a gun to a man's head.

"Let him through! Let him come closer!" the man yelled and the policemen reluctantly listened as Batman made his way to them.

"You know, I thought you were dead," the mysterious man calling himself the Riddler spoke, "or maybe you're not the real Batman, are you?" he asked. "Well, there's just one way to find out. Are you as smart as your predecessor? Are you him? Or are you just a stupid impostor who can't deal with a real threat? Listen carefully… What has branches and leaves and no bark?" he asked.

John could just stand there, completely dumbfounded.

"There's a bomb somewhere in Gotham," the man continued, "and if you solve my riddle, you will get to it on time and stop it from going off. The hardest part is to find it, once you do, there's a button on it that neutralizes it. Hurry up, you have only fifteen minutes!" The Riddler started laughing. "Oh, and I shall give you another clue to where you should look for the bomb once you find the place… What is black and white and red all over?" he asked. "Adios, fellows! Pity, all the history will be buried in ashes!" he said and pushed the man he was holding over the edge.

The poor man screamed as he fell down from the building. John reacted purely on instinct when he caught him. Then he could just stand there, holding the man, breathing as heavily as he was and being just as scared. He couldn't believe he had just saved a life. But it was not the end. There were more to save.

"Batman, thank god, you've got him!" some of the policemen came closer to relieve John from the burden of the still shaking man and some of them ran after the Riddler. Something told John though that no one would catch him in time to stop the bomb anyway.

"What do you think?" John asked dumbly the men that surrounded him now. "What could he mean?"

"The police's task is to look for the most possible place the Riddler guy could hit," one of them said and John found himself nodding. Not so long ago he had been one of them. Now it seemed like a blurry history, but…

"History buried in ashes…" he spoke out loud, feeling that he was so close, yet so far away from solving the mystery. And time was running out. "What were the other two?"

"What has branches and leaves and no bark," one of the men followed with his answer.

"And what is black and white and red all over," the other added.

John frowned. _History buried in ashes… white and black and red… leaves and branches and no…_

All of it told him something, something that he could barely grasp like he saw it through a fog.

And then a revelation came. He had already seen something that was black and white and red this evening. He had seen it in the library, on the table as he stepped inside with Barbara and… the library where the gala was being hosted, where all the most influential people in Gotham were.

"It's the library! The first clue is the library! And the last!" he shouted in excitement that he managed to solve the riddle. "And the one about black, white and red must be a book! A bomb in a book!" Without waiting for any confirmation, he ran back to his Batcycle and fired the engine. He needed to get back there in time…

* * *

John burst inside the library and all the conversations cut off abruptly. Everyone stared at him and he started to feel a little self-conscious.

He knew where the book was and it was… He almost hissed as he saw that Barbara and Jim Gordon were talking right next to the small table on which lain a book with a red cover.

In this very moment he knew what had to be done later on. He didn't even tell Barbara the truth, he didn't even enter a relationship with her and she already was in mortal danger. What would happen if he actually did all those things?

"There's a bomb in this building, but I want you to remain calm and evacuate," he said to the people. They weren't calm. Of course, they weren't. They all just threw themselves toward the exit.

John sighed and stepped aside, making his way to the book. Barbara was still standing there. Why?

Jim Gordon was pulling on her arm as he tried to get her to move, to finally go to the exit, to save herself, but she was stubborn. She stayed and then John realized that she was calling someone. She was calling him.

"John! John! Where are you?!"

He was helpless when watching her face in terror and he couldn't do anything about it. He wanted to tell her he was all right and right there by her side, but he couldn't. Then he felt the judging eyes of Jim Gordon set on him.

"Miss, please, you need to go," he finally spoke to her with voice thicker than normal, but he couldn't risk her finding him out. "I'll find John."

"Please, you need to save him!" Barbara turned to him, plea and desperation in her eyes. "I… I can't lose him." Then she finally let her father pull her toward the exit.

John could just stand there, baffled. What she did and said just proved to him that she cared about and she cared a lot. Maybe she had been hiding it well before? Maybe behind all those teasing and angriness, she truly cared about him? Wanted him?

He shook his head and turned to the book. He needed to ignore the ache in his chest. He had a mission to accomplish. A bomb to stop.

When the police got there another ten minutes later, the bomb was diffused. If it hadn't been for John, it would've already gone off, destroying one of the largest and most beautiful libraries in America. And if the police hadn't solved the riddle, all those people, including John's Barbara, would've been dead now.

* * *

Good twenty minutes since the police arrived had passed when John finally found Barbara who was now wandering over the slowly being deserted streets, calling his name.

"Barbie!" he noticed her and got to her.

She stilled when she heard his voice and then turned around, her face red and wet from crying. As he approached her she just threw herself into his arms, holding on to him so hard it actually physically hurt John. He still had injuries all over his body. He didn't push her away though, he hugged her back, embracing equally as hard and buried his face in her hair. He wanted to feel her there, her body next to his, it was his last chance to be that close to her anyway.

"Where the fuck were you?!" she started screaming at him as soon as the initial shock of seeing him alive and well wore off. She punched him in the chest and he stuffed a moan of pain. "Oh, I'm sorry, did this hurt you?!" she hissed at him, clearly noticing the scowl on his face. "I've been looking and worrying for you for good half an hour, you asshole!"

"I'm sorry!" he instinctively started defending himself. "I've got sandwiched in the crowd and then I started looking for you and…"

He realized she could tell that he was lying. He said it too fast, too frantically, he was thinking on it too hard. Still, there was too much going on inside him right now for him to actually act believably. She had almost died. The library had almost blown up. And that guy, the Riddler, he had seemed to be having fun. Killing seemed like a hobby to him. He had no conscience. John didn't know what to do, how to go on from now and how to protect the people of Gotham. All those fugitives from Blackgate seemed like a child play now.

"Barbara, listen…" John started, taking a deep breath, but nothing else came out of his mouth.

She was standing there, her lower lip trembling, eyes still a little scared, but mad at the same time.

"Barbara…" he said again, his heart beating too hard. He felt nauseous. He didn't want to do that. He didn't want to lose her. But he had to. There was really no other way. "I can't do this. I'm sorry. We can't see each other again," he finally said, every word like a knife slicing his insides into pieces and crushing his heart. "I do want this, I want… you," he added awkwardly, looking into her eyes and even though it was agonizingly painful, he couldn't stop. He could see the confusion in there. "But we can't be together. I'm sorry."

"What? Wait, what are you…" she started, but in this very moment Jim Gordon appeared, placing his hands on his daughter's shoulders.

"Let's go, sweetheart," he said gently.

John had never been so grateful to see him. Jim would know what to do. Jim was the one who actually understood what was going on.

"No, dad, I need to…" Only when Barbara looked at John again, he wasn't there anymore.

He was on his way back to the manor.

* * *

**AN: **Big thanks to: profile/notoriousbcb/blog/riddle-me-this-riddle-me-that-vintage-riddler-ridd/65642/


	6. Chapter 5

**Part 05**

"I told you, you shouldn't get involved," Jim Gordon said to his daughter. "John is a golden boy, but he's so undecided about everything! I knew this would happen and I just wanted to protect you."

Barbara knew her father cared about her and wanted the best for her, but nothing that he was telling her recently about John Blake held water. The stupid break up when they hadn't even been in a relationship was suspicious. Actually, the whole character of John Blake was, since the very moment she had met him. She had also never before in her life been so confused about something. She had always been able to discover the truth, to get to the essence of the problem, until now.

No, she would not leave it like that. John might not want to date her, she was cool with that, she would hurt a little and then move on. She had learnt a long time ago that no guy was ever worth her suffering. She dealt with the lost, end of the story. This time yet, she needed to find out John's secret before she would let herself forget about him. It lay in her very nature to get to the bottom of the truth. She was always all about research and she didn't get the highest credit on her PhD for nothing.

Her plan was to be subtle about the whole thing. She didn't want to talk to her father about this anymore. It hurt her a little that he seemed to know something, yet he refused to tell her. She just wanted him to be honest with her and he couldn't. He was the only person she could count on in the whole world and he refused to tell her the truth. She would deal with that one later. First, she needed to follow John Blake.

She never intended on just confronting him and asking the truth. She knew somehow that he wouldn't tell her, instead he would find a lot of excuses and just angry her more. She was done being furious at him, she was calm now, just getting to the bottom of things. She remembered the moment John had told her how angry he had been and needed to learn to hide those true feelings. Maybe he was still doing it. Maybe whatever he was hiding, had something to do with it. Barbara would only find it out by hiding her own anger and thinking logically.

She started tailing John a few days after the gala. She intended on giving him the fake feeling of being safe, let him think she'd given up. Only if he knew her at all, he should know she was coming for him. She never gave up so easily.

What stunned after a few days was that he barely left the manor. She saw him shopping in the city, sometimes taking walks, sometimes not going out at all. What was he hiding, then? Why was he spending so much time in the Wayne manor? Was there something exciting to do? Or maybe the big secret was that there was really no secret? Maybe John Blake just rather spend his days inside, doing nothing and watching TV? Still, it didn't fit him. He didn't seem to be such a man. He was taught the hardship and Barbara didn't believe a person could just change their stripes so radically.

She needed to dig deeper.

There was also one more thing. John always seemed to be in pain. She saw him once when shopping and he clearly winced when carrying heavy shopping bags. Maybe he was just one of those people that attract all kinds of accidents like he had told her when he had slip in the shower. Still, she didn't buy it. One couldn't be that clumsy to be sore all the time.

Maybe he belonged to an underground fight club, came to her mind. That would explain the sleepless nights and pain. She almost laughed at her own lack of imagination. There was a movie about such a thing, so she wasn't coming up with anything new.

Finally, she decided to sneak inside the manor to see what was happening to Blake on her own eyes. She was done playing cat and mouse. She needed to risk him finding her out. Tailing him now would be just a waste of time.

The problem was that she had no idea when she could actually sneak in as John was mostly home. Maybe the best time would be at night anyway? She could kill two birds with one stone and learn why he was constantly tired. Only how to get inside such a huge and well-guarded manor at night? After a brief moment of thinking, Barbara smiled. She would have to use a poor child, but she had no other choice.

* * *

John was beyond tired and sore by now. The man who called himself the Riddler was wreaking havoc in the city. He remained uncaught while still being able to leave all kinds of notes around with his - by now - famous riddles. Solving them was a real challenge both to John and to the police. So far they were lucky, solving almost every single one, but there was a bomb that had already exploded. Thankfully, there were no causalities, just a few injured workers. John was yet determined not to let that happen again. He couldn't have dead people on his conscience. He was sure that the real Batman would never fail and he wanted to be just like him. Right now his biggest fear was not to get somewhere in time to save people of Gotham. He didn't even have time to think about his unfortunate breakup with Barbara, but it was for the best. He would hate for her to find herself in the crossfire.

_What has 4 legs, runs day and night, but never gets anywhere? _Was another riddle and John had no clue. Luckily for him, one of the policemen figured it out: The Famous Lion Fountains. Thanks to that young man, lives were saved once again.

John hated that if it hadn't been for that guy, the Batman would've failed again. His job was that much easier now because of the sudden trust the police had in him and he couldn't jeopardize that. He finally had what Bruce would like so much to have. He would not let him down. Only if this continued, he would have to call for help…

* * *

At midnight, the back door to the manor opened, showing a smiley but sleepy face of Malcolm.

"Has anyone seen you?" Barbara whispered, dressed all in back, so it wouldn't be easy to notice her and then she stepped inside the house.

The boy just shook his head.

A few hours earlier, Babs had asked him to let her inside in the night, because she wanted to prepare a special surprise for John. She actually didn't even lie to the boy as it would really be a surprise. Her conscience was clear for now.

"Thanks," she smiled to him and gave him a bar of chocolate. "For the trouble. Now, go back to bed!"

Malcolm happily ran off with his gift and Barbara was left on her own. Now she just had to move quietly enough as to not wake anyone up. It was her only chance.

She more or less remembered the way to John's wing of the manor and she slipped inside unnoticed. The door was locked, but it was nothing that a hair pin wouldn't help with. Soon, she was inside, closing the door as quietly as she could. She made a few steps forward and the floor suddenly creaked, causing Barbara to freeze. She was standing still, listening hard to any possible sound that might indicate that John was actually home or - for a change - sleeping.

Everything was silent, so she released a deep breath of relief and crept forward. The castle in the middle of the night gave away a very eerie impression, what fascinated her more than actually scared. She would love to live in such a place, if only she didn't have to clean it up, that was.

Finally, she pushed a huge two winged door open and realized that she found herself in John's bedroom. The bed was made up and empty.

"Got ya," she whispered and looked around with the clear intention of snooping.

Then something else attracted her attention. It was another door on the other side of the room. Maybe it was John's study? Maybe there she would find her answers.

She walked toward it and found it locked. It only piqued her curiosity and she picked up the pin again. Few seconds later she was inside, facing a few bookshelves and a piano.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to find a desk, but there was none.

"I don't get you, John Blake," she said, then noticed that the bookshelf behind the piano was crooked, like it was standing unevenly. Something told her to go there and check it up and as she approached it, she nearly gasp at her discovery. It wasn't uneven, it was a secret passage.

"Bingo!" A mischievous smile appeared on her face and she got inside, leaving it open in fear she would get stuck in there.

Her heart was beating widely in her chest as she was making her way down the stone stairs carefully as not to slip. She felt cold and humidity, then she heard the hum of falling water.

"Shut the fuck up!" escaped her mouth as she finally stood in a huge cave, seeing clearly the waterfall, the shelves, the gear and… it was the Batmobile.

* * *

John was making his way back into the cave on the Batcycle. So far it was his favorite vehicle or maybe the only one that allowed him to travel fast. He still hadn't figured out how the Batmobile was useful as it was so big. Maybe he would use it one day, but for now, he was comfortable with the cycle. It had a pretty good engine and unlike the Batman suit, John felt like it was made for him.

He crossed the waterfall, wishing for once not to actually get wet, but it was a good way to keep the suit clean and it was waterproofed anyway.

He parked and then wanted to get off the vehicle when he suddenly stumbled to the ground. He was badly hurt, he knew that, but he thought that maybe he could at least manage to get to the first aid kit. He groaned in pain as he tried to keep his balance when grabbing the Batcycle again and then suddenly, there was a pair of hands holding him up.

"What the…" he started and turned to that person. He was afraid that the Riddler or any other possible enemy had found this place out. The kids… passed through John's mind frantically. The kids were there. They might be in mortal danger…

He stilled as he took a good look at the intruder.

"Barbie?!" he yelled, his eyes opening widely. He realized immediately that he'd just lost his only chance for concealing his true identity. She couldn't see who was inside the suit, under the mask, but now she had no doubts as there was only one person who called her by that nickname.

"Well, who would think, hah? And now I finally get why my father wanted me to stay away from you! Are you in this together or what?!" She bridled, but still held him up, afraid he might fall. "Oh, for goodness's sake!" she complained and took the mask off his head. "Now, all better_, John_," she said his name in a sarcastic tone. "So you're Batman?" she prompted like she needed to hear him say it. "I could've figured it out myself! Quitting your job, all bruised up and tried… how could I be so blind?!"

"Don't flatter yourself, you couldn't figure it out," John finally said, getting his voice back. It was too late for lying anyway.

She rolled her eyes and got him to a chair in which he just fell with no strength left.

"What the hell happened to you?! Why are you killing yourself like that?!" It was so typical of her to just stand over him, her hands on her hips, her yelling at him.

"Someone has to," he just answered calmly and that seemed to shut her up and made her look at him with compassion in her eyes for a change.

"What happened to you?" she asked again, this time her voice was more quiet.

"I've got beaten up and I cut myself when I was getting the bomb out…"

"What bomb? Oh, my god!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I was looking for you on that gala, you idiot and you were there! You were there in this fucking suit!"

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't tell you," he said, his eyes fixed on the floor. There was too much going on inside him right now and he had troubles handling it. He didn't want her to become a part of his life, because she could get hurt or killed so easily. And how would he then look into Jim Gordon's eyes? Gordon already hated him and John didn't need to give him the reason to actually kill him!

"Just show me your hand," Barbara decided to ignore her anger and just take care of him. He looked like he needed it. He was hurt. "What's wrong with it?" she asked again when he kept it pressed against his chest. "Oh, come on, this suit looks very uncomfortable."

"I'll be fine."

"Get it off. Now," she ordered and there was something in her voice that actually told him to listen. "Or we'll be here till morning," she threatened.

He sighed and stood up, couldn't really take the suit off.

"Here, I'll help you," her voice was soft now, full of care she didn't really want to show. His pain suddenly started affecting her as well. She didn't want him to get hurt and it was clearly too late. She didn't want to see him suffering, because she seemed to be suffering with him. An understanding washed over her as she realized that her father didn't want this life for her. She loved him dearly and she knew why he was saying what he was saying, but it still was her choice.

Besides, it was too late to back off now. She was too deep in this, too invested in this infuriating hot-head that was standing in front of her.

John didn't have the strength to argue and it wasn't like he was naked under the suit. He did have sweat pants and a shirt on, so he let her help him out, giving her brief instructions as how to take the suit off.

"God, John, this looks nasty," she said when she took a closer look at his injured forearm. The cut was deep and it was bleeding profusely. "Maybe we should get you to a hospital?" she suggested when quickly pressing a towel against the wound.

"No, no hospitals," John said, shaking his head energetically. "They can't know who I am. Just… you're gonna have to trust me." His eyes finally met hers fully and the desperate look in them told her to listen.

"All right," she nodded, "but in that case, I will have to look at that. Keep pressure," she instructed when his hand replaced hers on the towel pressed to his arm and then she helped him out again, walking him back to his bedroom.

"How on earth did you get here anyway?" John asked, suddenly realizing this obvious question he should've asked first.

"Well, there's actually a brief explanation involving bribery of children and some hot-head who wasn't careful enough to lock his secret passage…" Barbara started.


	7. Chapter 6

**Part 06**

Barbara and John finally stumbled into his bedroom and she helped him out to his bed on which he nearly fell, breathless. His wound was still bleeding, soaking through the towel.

At this moment Barbara couldn't really say anything, her throat was too constricted as the whole truth was slowly dawning on her. She just now began to realize what John's life really meant. How much danger he was in every single day. How much he risked for Gotham and for what? There was not really a prize along the way. The reward was just another day of life, whereas losing meant his death. Her hands shook as she took into all of that when taking care of his forearm.

"I think I need stitches," John said, interrupting her deep thoughts.

"I… I don't think I can…" Babs started in a shaky voice. Could she really just sew him up?

"It's ok, I'll do it," John offered, trying to heave himself up. "It wouldn't be the first time."

Barbara felt so sorry for him right now. She realized how alone he had really been all this time. How much he was risking every day. How much he must need someone by his side even if he thought it was dangerous. That must have been the reason why he had started dating her to just decide he didn't want her to get hurt and leave her later. She finally understood it all. All the puzzles fitting perfectly.

"No, I'll do it," she gathered up her courage, seeing how exhausted he really was. There was no way she would let him sew himself up when watching him doing it. "It's like sewing a piece of clothing, isn't it?" she asked.

John just nodded.

"Won't it hurt?" she hesitated when she finally had the needle and a thread in her shaky hands.

"If they keep shaking like this, it will," John answered, clearly trying to joke, but she was in no mood to laugh.

"All right, then," she said, breathing air out nosily from her lungs. "I'll do my best…" When she put her hand to the wound, it stop trembling like her nerves finally listened to her brain. The last thing she wanted was to cause John more pain, so she was pretty sure that was the reason she managed to do it right.

"I need more, John," she said when she began her work on his forearm. "I need the whole truth. I've already gotten too far and I think you owe me after everything you've put me through."

He didn't say anything, but he nodded.

"I don't really buy you being the real Batman," she started when she finally put all her thoughts in order. "It doesn't add up! About nine years ago, when the Batman emerged, you were too young to be him. And when he actually came back… you were still a policeman. You couldn't have been _him_."

John was silent for a moment and Barbara was waiting for his answer patiently.

Finally, he told her," I took the reigns over the Batman that sacrificed himself for Gotham when talking the bomb out of the city," he admitted and met her green eyes. She could see the truth in them. "Once he did it, having the power to save all the people…" John stopped for a second and then continued, "I was a policeman and technically, I should have all the authority, but I couldn't save them. I couldn't save anyone. I was ready to get the kids from the orphanage out of Gotham through the one remaining bridge, but they wouldn't let me. They were ready to shoot me, they actually blew up the bridge to prevent me from going over to their side," he kept saying, his eyes distant like he was reliving it all again. "I had no power. Bane had the power. A criminal. He blackmailed them… and the city would've been ashes right now it hadn't been for Br… for Batman," John changed his mind quickly, not really wanting to divulge the Batman's real identity. It wasn't his secret to tell anyway. "He left me his legacy," he again began after a moment, realizing that as he was so immersed into his story, finally being able to share it with someone, that he didn't even feel pain from the job Barbara was doing on his hand. She finished by now, bandaging it and then meeting his brown eyes. "My name isn't even John," he confessed, not really knowing why. Maybe it was the deep urge to tell her absolutely _everything_ as he had never before been so honest with anyone in his life. He needed to be honest with her now. He needed her to know. Someone had to.

"Really?" that piqued her interest even more. "What's your real name, then?"

"It's Robin," he found himself saying. "Robin John Blake."

"Robin," she said like she was trying to taste the sound of it. "I like it. I even like it more. It's original. Robin," she repeated, her eyes still locked with his. She suddenly felt like she was drowning in them. They were getting closer and closer and she didn't even know how it happened, but they kissed. This time it wasn't a simple peck, or even the deep kiss they had shared in his secret place near the river. This time it was a kiss of truth. She knew him now. She knew all of his secrets. There were no boundaries, no holding back. Electricity hit her as she met his lips and they really kissed. She could feel his tongue licking a path her lower lip and then dipping in and she found herself overcame by passion and desire. She grabbed his face, pulling him closer, suddenly lit on fire, desperate to feel more of him. When her body grazed against his chest and she felt her nipples tighten, she also heard a groan, but this time not a groan of pleasure, it was of pain.

She pulled away, breathing heavily, her hazy eyes looking into his.

"Is that how this gonna work from now on, Robin?" she asked with a hint of joke in her voice. "Every time things get heated up, you moan in pain and I pull away."

Only he didn't laugh. He was dead serious.

"Barbara…"

"Uh oh," she articulated, "you call me by my full name, it means you're serious. Come on, you can't honestly tell me now that…"

"How this can even work?" he asked, pointing her and then himself. "We can't be together. It's too dangerous."

"Bullshit!" she exclaimed. "It is my choice, not yours. Do you hear me? _Mine!_ If I want to date you, if I want to be with you, I fucking will! Unless you look me in the eye and tell me you don't like me that way! Then it's fine, it'll hurt a lot, but I'll deal, I'll move on... Come on! Say it right into my eyes!" she challenged him and he just couldn't.

She knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He thought he actually could, but once he met her eyes again, determined to play it right, he just couldn't tell her that he didn't care and didn't want her. If he did, she would obviously discover his lie.

"That's what I thought," she said with satisfaction in her voice. "I care about you, John," she added in a much softer voice. "I care about you and god help me, but I care way too much. I don't know how it happened, but you've got to me and I can't let you go. Don't even try playing the sacrificing hero with me! I'm staying!"

John closed his eyes, muffling another groan, this time it indicated trouble. How came he'd made such a mess? He tried from a different side now.

"Do you have any idea what happened to the people the previous Batman loved?" he asked.

"No, but I guess you'll tell me right away."

"He loved a girl, a girl he'd known all his life and she died because of him. Because she knew his secret. I can't let that happen to you," John confessed. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got hurt. I wouldn't be able to look into your father's eyes."

"Robin, I don't care," she finally said. "I made my decision and it feels like it was never really a decision. It's like something made the choice for me. I want this. Once I find out, I can't stay away."

"You do realize that your father will really kill me?"

"Well, you're not dating your father, you're dating me. And I want this. I want _you_." She kissed him again, this time much gentler, but she could still feel the overwhelming flames.

John wanted to protest, but he couldn't. He was too weak, too drained and too much in pain to argue anymore. Most importantly, for the first time in his life he truly felt like he wasn't alone. He needed Barbara and she needed him. This fight he had with himself was clearly lost.

"I'll leave you now so you can get some sleep and rest. I'll be back though, I promise," she said for a goodbye and kissed him again, then she left his room.

He just shook his head, but there was a smile on his face that he couldn't rid of. Then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep immediately.

* * *

Jim Gordon didn't sleep when Barbara finally came back home. It was nearly three in the morning and he was worried sick.

"Not so fast, young lady," she heard his warning voice once she took off her shoes and tried to sneak into her room when not making any noise.

She came to a sudden stop and looked into the dark living room.

"Dad? You've scared the hell out of me!" she got angry with him. She had enough of creeping in the darkness for one might.

"Where have you been?" Jim asked when standing up and making his way to her. "Barbara, this is serious. This city is dangerous, especially at night. Where have you been?" he repeated is question, agitating her even more.

"You knew the whole time and you didn't tell me," she accused him. "I thought I could trust you, dad. Why would you keep this secret from me?"

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, taken aback.

"I'm talking about Robin moonlighting as the new Batman," she hissed at him.

"Robin?" Jim got even more confused. "Don't you mean… John?" he finally said, giving up. He could tell it was too late and that his daughter already knew the truth.

"His real name is Robin. I thought you knew that," she hesitated. "Anyway, you should've told me!"

"I told you to stay away from him! That should be enough! His secret wasn't mine to tell!"

Barbara knew her father wanted the best for her, but she was still mad at him.

"You know, after so many years of absence, I don't think you have the right to tell me what to do," she spat out, seeing the effect of her words immediately on his hurt expression. "I'm a grown-up woman and if you wanted to raise a teenager, you should've appeared in my life earlier!"

"I didn't know you existed!" he raised his voice. "If I'd known… sweetie, I promise you, I would've found you! I would've been the father you deserved to have!"

Barbara's face softened. She could tell she hurt him deeply. She closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts and taking a deep needed breath.

"I know! I fucking know that!" she screamed again. "But right now you have no right to tell me what to do! You have no right to tell me whom I should date or not! I want him, dad! There, I said it! Despite everything, I can feel myself falling for Robin! I can't help it!" She threw her hands into the air helplessly. Jim could see her glassy eyes like she was about to cry. "I know the danger it involves," she added in a much quieter voice now. "I know it all! But still, my heart doesn't listen when I think of it. It only wants to be happy. With Robin. I've always wanted to live my own adventure and now… now I finally got it! I'm no longer reading a book, dad, I am living it."

"The difference is, sweetheart," Jim suddenly said, too emotional for his own sake, "that this is the real world. And in the real world good doesn't always win and everyone lives happily ever after."

"I know that," she said once again, her voice bitter and shaky. "But this is the path I'm choosing." She was too emotionally drained and tried to say anything more, so she made her way up the stairs and closed the door to her room.

Jim could just stand there in the darkness, terrified as all his worst dreams were coming true.


	8. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

Barbara didn't sleep very well that night. She was having nightmares that involved either Robin or her getting hurt, the new criminal in town, the threat bomb at the gala - as this time it went off killing her - and then the Wayne Manor. The Batcave, the Batman that was sacrificing himself for Gotham, that died that day and the monument that was raised to praise him.

She woke up with a gasp, her body all wet as she had been very scared in her dream. She could still feel herself being blown up by that bomb. She could still remember that she also had dreamt of John being tortured and killed by the Riddler. She had dreamed of the sacrifice the previous Batman had made.

"Bruce Wayne," she whispered, quickly connecting the dots. The fact that he had died the day Batman had sacrificed himself and that the secret passage to the cave came from his wing of the manor, could only led Barbara to one conclusion.

Last night she had been too emotionally drained to actually realize that obvious thing. John must have been too, she thought.

_John! _Came to her mind and she wondered how he was doing and if he was up. John, or maybe she should say _Robin_. There was something about his real name that spoke to her. He really was more Robin than a commonly found John. His second name was like a disguise, it was just a means to an end like a person introducing himself John Smith. She wanted to call him Robin. Knowing his name, his true identity, brought her closer to him. She truly wanted to be a part of his life even though she knew well it would be a life fraught with danger. It would be like living fast and dying young. But what kind of a life would that be if she didn't choose him? It might've been long, but it would be boring as well. She chose the adventure. She chose to truly _live_, to make a difference. She could help Robin. With her brain and his abilities, they could be really helpful to the city. They could take the Riddler down.

Only first Barbara needed to go to work for a while. She couldn't not show today, but she made a mental note to find somebody who would be qualified enough to fill in for her if she ever needed to miss a day because of an emergency.

When she got down the stairs after a long and relaxing shower, she met her father there.

"I'm going to work," she just said, grabbing a toast on the way and taking a sip of coffee from her cup. "I'm already late."

To her surprise, Jim Gordon didn't touch on the topic from last night. He just said his goodbye like nothing happened. Maybe he chose to believe that.

When the front door closed after Barbara, he just released a long sigh when reading his morning newspaper. There was nothing he could now, he knew that well. He knew youth. People could be stubborn and once love was ignited, he did understand that his daughter would rather risk everything for it. She was a romantic at soul as she had spent all her childhood years with a book in her hand. Jim had no choice but to let her do what she had to do. But he would wait patiently until the time for speaking some reason into both Barbara and John would come.

* * *

Barbara left her work as fast as he could, desperate to see Robin again and to find out if he was all right. She had left him in a pretty bad shape the night before and just now was being bombarded with all the dangerous of going to sleep after a concussion. What if Robin had suffered from one last night? What is something bad had happened to him while he had been sleeping?

She drove straight to the manor and knocked on the door hard until... Robin opened up.

"Robin," she released a long breath of relief. "You're ok!"

"Of course, I am. I get hurt all the time and I need to learn how to live with…" he stopped as she thrust herself into his arms. "Well, I missed you too," he spoke right into her ear as he embraced her.

"I was worried. I was in such a shock last night that I totally forgot that you could've had a concussion and…"

"Hey, hey…" Robin pulled away and held her on his arms' length, meeting her eyes. "Smarty pants, I'm all right. Besides, have you seen my mask? Nothing can get through that."

She actually smiled at him.

They stood there for a while just looking at each other. And then they heard the kids' laugh coming closer and closer.

"Come with me," Robin said and grasped her hand, pulling her into a corridor on his right.

Barbara followed easily. She, too, didn't have the patience right now to meet any kids, especially Malcolm who would certainly ask her a lot of questions about last night. She just chose to follow Robin. She had the impression that she had done it the very moment they had met.

"See this door?" Robin finally stopped right next to the entrance to his wing of the house. "You can go in here if you want to visit. This way you wouldn't have to face anyone else." To show her the way from the outside, he opened the door and they stepped outside.

"I'll find my way in, don't worry," she assured him. "But I don't have a key. What if you're not home or… worse… what if you're injured?"

Robin just smiled at her and dag into his pocket to retrieve a key.

"Here you go."

"Seriously? You're giving it to me?" she asked, not quite believing it was that easy. "The last time I asked for a key, they guy broke up with me…"

"I trust you," Robin assured her. "You're the only one who knows my secret. Maybe I need you to have this." His hand closed around hers holding the key and they looked each other in the eyes once again.

"My father knows the truth about you," she said to break the mood. She wasn't sure what that was exactly. Maybe it was happening too fast. Maybe… but true love was all about happening too fast, she realized. Even when you went slow, you went fast.

"I kind of suspected that," Robin admitted and they walked toward his room.

"He doesn't like us together," Barbara prompted.

"I'm sure he doesn't… Barbie," he suddenly turned to her, his voice growing serious. "What I told you last night about the danger…"

Her fingers closed his lips.

"I don't want to listen to it anymore," she whispered and then finally let the feelings she had for him overcame her. She raised on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. It was just an innocent and small kiss, an encouragement for more. And Robin took it. He opened his mouth and kissed her fully, running his tongue along her lips, sucking her bottom lip in and then putting his tongue into her mouth, meeting her own. She moaned loudly, again feeling the sexual tension, the electricity and the pull between them. She wondered if she had ever before felt so much for a man when only kissing him. She wouldn't ponder on it now, she decided, already forgetting what she had been thinking a moment before. Robin's hands were now on the small of her back, pulling her closer to his body until she was pressed against him and could feel his growing erection on her belly.

"Robin…" she moaned silently his name when his lips descended to her neck and sucked on her pulse. She pressed harder against him and he groaned in response, cupping her breasts and massaging it gently until he could feel her nipples hardening underneath his fingers.

"Are you sure?" he asked, fighting every urge in himself and the nasty voice in his head that was scolding him for making sure. It had been so long for him and he wanted her so much. He had never before wanted a woman so badly. She needed to say yes for their both good.

"Oh, yeah," she assured him, cupping his face and bringing him into another kiss. Then her hands slid down, along his chest in a gentle move. "Still in pain?" she asked.

"Nothing that will stop me from making love to you," he answered, closing his eyes in pleasure as her hands went lower and lower. They stopped at the bottom hem of his t-shirt and pulled, taking it off of him and revealing his muscular chest to Barbara's eyes.

He was a really good-looking man, she thought as she took in the look of him half-naked. He must've been working out pretty hard since he'd become the Batman. A few bruises and one that looked pretty serious did not miss her attention. He had a fresh bandage on his arm and a scar on his shoulder, but she didn't care.

She lowered her face and placed a kiss on the bruise she thought was from 'him falling in the shower'.

"That's much better," she heard his voice and then he pulled on her shirt as well. She didn't oppose and soon was left in her bra which Robin unhooked immediately, revealing her breasts to his eyes.

As he kissed her again and touched her breasts, caressing the nipples, they walked backwards to his bed until her knees hit it and she feel into it. Robin hovering above her and kissing every inch of her body that was revealed to him. When he got to the hem of her jeans, he undid the button and pulled them down her legs along with the panties that got stuck on the way.

Barbara wasn't wasting any time. She sat on the bed and began taking off his sweatpants. His erection already visible underneath them. She pulled them down his legs and then his boxers, revealing his length. And it was pretty impressive, she thought with satisfaction. Robin would certainly please her, she decided when stroking him with her hands.

"God, Barbie," he moaned. This time she didn't even notice him calling her that way. She was too aroused for her own sake and she needed him inside her.

"Fuck!" Robin suddenly cursed and made a step back so she lost her hold on him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, not really understanding.

"I don't have a condom," he answered, looking at her helplessly. "I'm sorry. I'm completely not prepared!"

"Well, I should be happy that you don't sleep around after all," she said, laughing.

"I don't really have time to…" he started and then stopped when she actually kicked him. "What's that for?!"

"_Now _you don't have time?!"

"I wasn't sleeping around before either!" he added quickly, scared that once she got angry, he wouldn't be able to get her into the romantic mood again. But wait… he didn't have a condom anyway, so…

"You're lucky I'm protected, then," he heard to his great relief and he came closer again, let her pull him back to bed and then he was hovering above her, kissing her again, then sucking on her nipples until she moaned and wiggled beneath him, asking for more. His fingers finally stroke her intimate flesh.

"Robin, god… now!" she yelled when grasping his cock and stroking it.

"Are you sure?"

"The fuck I am!"

He kind of liked the way she was in bed. The sophisticated librarian drove by primal needs, cursing her way through sex, turning him on even more.

He positioned himself and put his cock to her already soaked entrance, fighting the urge to just fuck her senseless. He was barely holding on.

"Robin…" she moaned pleadingly, grabbing his buttocks and squeezing them.

That undid him completely and he pushed inside her all the way, savoring in the tightness of her channel. He was suddenly afraid he wouldn't last long enough to please her. She felt too good and his cock ached for him to just fuck and fuck her till exhaustion.

Only he always restrained himself from those deep dark urges that were inside him along with the anger that never ceased to be.

"Oh, yes… yeah!" Barbie screamed as he pulled away and pulled back in. She put her legs higher and around his waist, closing him in the vice of them. All that possessiveness brought him dangerously close, but he restrained himself, kept making love to her. Their first time had to be perfect.

She rolled her hips, finding a rhythm, matching his thrusts, clinging to him.

He loved all of it. He loved her responsiveness. He loved her moves.

She needed him as desperately as he needed her. They suddenly seemed to become one in both body and soul. Robin wanted nothing more than to never let her go. It would truly be the end of him if he had to.

"Yes… yes… Robin… Ro… bin…" she kept on moaning as she was on the very verge of her climax. He welcomed that with relief. He didn't know how long he could keep going like this, his body already bathed in sweat, his chest sliding along her own, her nipples teasing it.

She clamped viciously around his cock and he finally let go, pounding into her with a roar until he froze and then came hard inside her.

For a moment they just laid there, embraced, breathing heavily, not having any strength to let go off each other. Then Robin rolled off of her and on his back.

"That was… amazing," he heard her saying, her voice breathless.

"Oh, yes, it was," he admitted and managed to turn on his side so he could face her. "But what now? Being around me is still dangerous for you."

"We can't figure it all out now," she said, "we just need to live and see where this will go."

"I guess I can live with that," Robin admitted, "But your father will kill me."

"Leave my father to me."

* * *

**AN **I'm not sure that you noticed the subtle foreshadowing, but one day… all that anger and urges of Robin's will take control over him…


	9. Chapter 8

**AN**: to answer a comment that came from Anon: Just because Barbara is protected, doesn't mean that she's sleeping around! There are millions of reasons to why a woman takes birth control pills.

* * *

**Part 08**

Barbara woke up to an empty bed. For a moment there she was convinced that she was in her own house, just sleeping in, but then she realized that the covers were much softer and the bed felt different too.

"Robin?" she said his name when she turned around, the memories from last night coming back to her.

Yet, her hand met an empty side of the bed.

Completely woken up, Barbara was ready to berate Robin for leaving her alone like that when she spotted a piece of paper lying on his pillow. At least he had the decency to leave her a note, she thought and read it quickly. It just said: _trouble in the city_.

She knew exactly what it meant and she wondered if there would come a day when Robin would not come home. This was exactly why her mother had left her father and never told him about the pregnancy. She was afraid of this, of waiting for her man every night, not knowing if he would make it this time. Life with a hero wasn't an easy one. Barbara knew it firsthand since even an actual wife of Jim Gordon had left him because of it. Only Babs rather believe that she was stronger than those women, that she could understand John's need for saving Gotham. It was true that Bruce Wayne was dead, but maybe the same fate didn't have to meet the man she loved?

She wouldn't figure everything out just now, she decided. She was happy and she was in love. There was no strength on this earth that could pull her away from her lover at this stage so she just brushed all the worries aside and got out of bed, going to find Robin's bathroom so she could take a shower.

* * *

When Barbara emerged from the bathroom, Robin just walked through the secret passage.

"Are you all right?" she asked, watching him carefully in search for any fresh injuries.

"Yes, I'm fine," Robin answered when smiling at her and taking in the look of her. "I like this," he pointed at his shirt that she was wearing.

"Well, it was all I could find," she smiled naughtily to him. "But if you want it back… you just have to take it from me."

"Give me one sec!" he said and disappeared in the bathroom. She could hear the water running.

"It must be the quickest shower in the world," she judged when he rushed out of it with only a towel around his waist, droplets of water still on his chest.

"Aren't you in a hurry?" Barbara asked from her position on the couch, really liking the view.

"I was afraid you'd disappear if I took any more time," he admitted. "Don't you have work today?"

"I just called the library and promoted one of the girls working there. I also hinted that I didn't feel all that well and it would be better if I stayed home," she informed, very proud of herself.

Robin made his way to her, watching her bare legs one on the other and his shirt that was too big on her.

He leaned toward her and captured her lips in a kiss that soon grew hot and they found themselves lying on a couch, Robin's towel disappearing somewhere and his shirt on her ripped open.

"Good morning," he said when finally breaking the kiss and looking her in the eye. Her legs were already wrapped around his waist and his hardness was pressed against her belly.

"Good morning," she answered and smiled to him. "But it would've been even a better morning if you'd been there once I woke up."

"Sorry, sweetheart." His hand cupped her face and caressed it gently. "This couldn't wait. People need Batman."

"Was it the Riddler?" she asked, worry evident in her voice.

"No, this time is was just an ordinary bank robbery."

"Is that so? You call a bank robbery ordinary?" she teased him.

"Well… compared to…" He traced a path with his lips down her chest and to her stomach, "some things I…" now he was at the level of her thigh, "needed to deal with… this was nothing," he finally finished when bringing a finger to her clit and then sucking on her gently.

"Fuck…" Barbara cursed, doing her best not to smack him in the head with her feet that jerked violently along with her whole body. "Robin…" she gasped his name and he began working on her, her hands held his head in place.

He liked that even when she was out of control, she still called him by his real name. Somehow he felt like they were more intimate this way, like she was the only one who knew him completely. The only one he could truly open up to and trust.

She was so close to coming now as Robin kept on sucking and stroking her, she just needed something to push her over the edge. He gently scraped his teeth against her clit and that did it. Her body shuttered beneath him as she finally climaxed.

He was painfully hard now, but fought hard to actually give her some respite even though seconds seemed like hours.

Barbara finally took one last deep breath and then heaved herself up.

"I think we're destroying Bruce Wayne's couch," she said.

"Too late anyway," Robin shrugged and sat up, grunting in relief as his cock was no longer in contact with anything. He needed a few seconds to pull himself together and then…

Barbara was suddenly crouching on the floor right between his legs and before he could register what was happening - or react for that matter - she licked his length and gently sucked on the head of his cock.

"Oh, fuck…" he groaned, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the headboard. If he saw her working on him now, he would definitely lose it completely. Or turn her over and fuck her senseless. He wasn't really sure if she was ready for this kind of intimacy so soon.

So he just let her give him a blow job. It was still one of the most exciting sexual experiences he'd ever had. Quite frankly, with Barbara everything seemed better and more intense, with her he felt more. Maybe he really did find the right person. He just wished the circumstances were different.

Soon, he stopped thinking altogether, because Barbara did something with her tongue that felt absolutely amazing on his cock. He couldn't stand this any longer as he just had to look at her, taking in the sight of her with his cock in her mouth, sucking it hard and pumping with her hands, then she squeezed his balls a little and that did it. He didn't even have the time to warn her, he just came. She didn't mind that it happened in her mouth. She liked it, having a strange feeling of possessiveness over him.

She so wished this was true and he was hers completely. She wouldn't needed anything else to be happy and satisfied with her life as she already had her dream job, she thought a moment later when they were gathering their strength to go on. Only she knew that he would never be truly hers, not with the city that constantly needed Batman.

Life wasn't perfect, she decided when straddling him when he got hard again and taking him in.

But she would take as much as she could.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Barbara finally came back home. She was tempted to stay with Robin, but she knew that life didn't stop just because she wanted it to. Added to that, if she spent one more second in Robin's bed, she might be in danger of not be able to walk the next day.

"Barbara," she heard her father calling her name once she found herself in the hallway.

"Dad, I know what you're going to say, so just please… don't. Can you do this for me? This is…"

"I won't lecture you. You were right before," Jim Gordon interrupted her and then his silhouette appeared in the door leading to the living room. "It's your choice. You're free to do with your life whatever you please. I'm just worried about you as any father would."

"I know," she admitted quietly.

"You know that your mother left because she couldn't handle being the hero's wife?"

"I do, but I'm not like her, dad. Your blood is running through my veins too," Barbara said. "I believe I'm stronger. I can handle it."

"I believe you can, but one of those days…" Jim hesitated, but then finished nevertheless, "he might not come home. Are you truly prepared for that possibility?"

Barbara didn't answer him this time.

* * *

Almost a week after Barbara and Robin had gotten together, she was woken up at night by a knock on her window.

She sat up in her bed and wanted to scream, but then she almost laugh instead. Robin in his Batman suit was behind her window, the spikes on the top of his mask giving away a scary impression in the shadows.

Barbara got out of her bed and opened the window for him.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" she asked on one breath.

"No, I just need your help," he said and stepped inside.

"So you're bothering me at night?"

"You were the one who wanted to take it slow and live here, so…" Robin started, but on seeing the expression on her face, he stopped. "All right. I don't have much time anyway… I've got three riddles and… if I don't solve them till midnight, someone's going to die," Robin explained.

Barbara paled.

"Why do you think I can help you?" she almost squealed. She didn't need this kind of responsibility. She didn't want to blame herself for a possible death if I she didn't deliver.

"Hey, hey, Barbie, it's ok," Robin said quickly and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Remain calm. We have half an hour. Just look at these. " He handed her over a piece of paper. "I know you can help me. You're smarter than me and you're read so many books."

In different circumstances she would tease him about admitting such a thing, but right now, she just couldn't think about it.

"Let's look at them…" she decided and took the paper with shaky hands. Maybe together they would be able to solve it, she comforted herself.

Barbara read the three riddles: How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people? What is it that no man wants to have and every man wants to win? When is a person like a piece of wood?

"What is this?" Barbara looked up into Robin's eyes, confusion in her own. "It's rubbish. Doesn't he riddle you about a place like the last time?"

"Not always. Sometimes this is what he's doing," Robin explained. "If I get to the pointed phone booth, he'll tell me the location. But I need to solve these first."

"He might tell you the location… or another riddle."

"I still need to solve them," Robin said, taking the piece of paper from her. "I know that he has the power, but there's no way I can gain advantage. I need to follow this lead… this…" Robin came to a stop and closed his eyes as not to burst out in rage. He took a deep breath and said in a much calmer voice, "I think I know the answer to the first one. I've learnt that Riddler is tricky and the answer can be silly, they're just mind benders."

"How would you solve it, then?" Barbie prompted.

"Make applesauce," Robin answered, "that would be the only way, wouldn't it?"

"That's… that's actually brilliant," she admitted, already feeling her mind opening. Maybe she could help him after all. "Give me the paper!" She snatched it from him again.

"When's a person like a piece of wood? … What is it that no man wants to…" she kept murmuring under her breath as she paced around the room, thinking hard.

It had taken them almost twenty five minutes to solve the remaining mysteries and Robin was running out of time.

"Be safe!" Barbara called after him as he jumped out of her window and rushed to the phone booth.

Who would think? She shook her head. The answer to the second riddle was a law suit and to the last, a ruler. She would laugh if only the situation wasn't so tragic.

As she closed the window, but knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep anyway until she would hear from Robin, she was oblivious to a person that was standing in the shadow on her street. He had followed Robin to her house.

The man took his phone out of his pocket and dialed the phone booth number.

"Well done, Batman," he said once he heard all the answers. Now… the location…" There was a smirk on his face.


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: **In response to anon: Traumatic drama? Boy... I'm all about traumatic drama, but I can promise a happy ending at last :P Is that satisfying enough for you?

* * *

Thank you for all the comments and love for this story:*

* * *

**Part 09**

There was, yet, another success, Robin thought with satisfaction as he and Barbara were just spending an evening alone in the manor. Maybe the Riddler would soon give up? Wouldn't he run out of his riddles? Robin thought, suddenly optimistic. So far his life was good. He managed to moonlight as Batman and have a relationship and on top of it all, he ran a foundation. It those things didn't equal success, then he didn't know what did.

There was also another thing on his mind now. Ever since he'd come clear with Barbie and told her his real name, he started thinking that maybe, just maybe there would come a time when he would be able to stop playing Batman and be who he truly wanted to be. There was a costume waiting for him in the hidden closet in the cave. A costume made by Lucius Fox, especially for him. This one would fit perfectly. This one was _his _alone. He wouldn't have to play anything, he could just be himself. Maybe he could get even better at his job when not having to deal with a suit that wasn't for his body size? A mask that wasn't covering his whole face and didn't ended with bat's ears? A mask that would only cover his eyes.

"Do you think it's time for Gotham to accept a new hero?" Robin suddenly asked Barbie as they were sitting on the couch, her snuggling up to him, drinking red wine.

"What do you mean?" she asked, pulling away from him to study her face. Her own showed curiosity.

"We're both know that I'm not the real Batman. That was Bruce."

"Yes, but you wanted to carry out his legacy," she said, not really following.

"What if I need to become my own hero? What if a new vigilante has to appear in this town? Do you think Gotham is ready to trust a new guy after it trusted Batman?"

"What new guy?"

"The Robin," Robin just said. "No one but you and Jim Gordon know my real name. To be honest, I'm tired of filling in for Bruce. I'm tired of his suit. It's just not me. I haven't told you this, but I have a new costume for myself. I just never used it before. I thought Gotham wasn't ready after it trusted Batman. But now… now the trust is strong, even the police are willing to cooperate with me."

Barbara was watching him with excitement in her eyes.

"May I see it? The new suit?"

"Of course," Robin agreed easily. He felt this was the right time. "Maybe if I'm... me," he finally said, "then I'll be able to let go of just a little bit of this rage inside and that could help me defeat the Riddler?"

"I think you're on the right track," Barbie admitted. "Psychologically speaking, you need to believe in yourself, to fully become yourself in order to reach your highest potential."

Robin rolled his eyes at her comically. "And here we go with the books…"

"Well, I'm sorry if my IQ is higher than yours. Is your masculinity still intact?"she teased him and he pretended to be livid.

As they moved toward the secret passage, Barbara's phone beeped. She reached for it and frowned. "Robin, I need to go. My dad needs me and he says it's urgent. I'm really sorry. You will have to show me the suit later."

Robin was a little disappointed, but in the end he thought that maybe it was a good thing. He never really tried the costume and it might turn out to be a flop if he did it now in front of her.

"It's all right," he said. "Go."

She gave him quick a peck on the lips.

"I'll come by later on and we can… continue," she smiled mischievously. "Maybe you can model that suit for me and then effectively take it off."

She was gone before he managed to process those words.

"Damn, she's good," he said to an empty room when his arousal sprung to life. "Later…" he told himself.

* * *

Only Barbara didn't come back later.

It was late and Robin didn't expect her at this hour. After all, she didn't seem like the kind of a girl who would do a booty call in the middle of the night. She was too proud for that and too independent.

Something was definitely off though, because Robin was more than sure that she would call if she couldn't come as promised.

He dialed her number without thinking, desperate to make sure she was safe. That was all that mattered, especially with the kind of life he led.

Were there too carless? He thought as she wasn't picking up. Did he miss something? Did he put her in danger?

When he gave up and hung up, the phone rang.

"Thank god," Robin murmured when he saw Barbie's name on the screen. Maybe she'd sleeping and he woke her up. Maybe she'd been taking a shower. It didn't matter. She was calling him back now. "Barbie, I…"

Only the voice he heard in his cell did not belong to his girlfriend.

"Barbie, is it, hah?" it was the Riddler, laughing at him. "That's an interesting nickname for such a bright and smart young woman, Batman."

The rage swelled in Robin as he clenched his free hand into fist.

"What you've done with her?!" he yelled.

"Oh, easy there, bat boy, easy. If we both remain calm, then maybe you'll save her." Another laugh.

"Where is she?!"

The Riddler just gave him of the name of the street where they would meet the next day at midnight.

"Don't even dare be late," he warned Robin and hung up.

"Shit!" Robin screamed as the call was ended. "FUCK!" He took a swing and threw the cell at the wall where it shattered and the pieces fell down to the floor. "FUCK!" He brought his hands to his head. "Just breath, calm down… get yourself under control…" he began saying as he closed his eyes, forcing himself to think clearly and not let himself be overcame by fury.

He knew what he would do. It was time.

It was time for the Robin.

* * *

The next night he strode to the cave, left the Bat suit behind and walked straight to the hidden closet.

It was still Kevlar, it was still impenetrable and black. But there were no bat features on it anymore and it was in a perfect size for him. No bat ears, no mask that covered his whole head. Just eyes.

He was Robin and he would save the woman he loved. It was time. It was like the initiation rite.

* * *

"New suit, hah?" Robin heard the Riddler as he appeared on the right street.

He didn't see Barbara though. Instead, he saw Jim Gordon. The Riddler got to him too. And he had a gun put to his temple.

"Where's Barbara?" Robin asked, doing his best to pull himself under control again. One person in danger was enough, but added to that her father? Barbie would never forgive him if something happened to Gordon! He was the only family she had. Only Gordon wouldn't forgive him if he didn't save his daughter over him. One way of another, it would be the end of their romantic relationship.

"Stop asking questions. It's my finger that's on the trigger!" the Riddler warned him, pressing the gun harder into Jim's temple.

"Then tell me what to do to save them," Robin said.

"You can't save them all," the answer came. "I have to tell ya…" Riddler took a closer look at Robin and tilted his head like he was trying to assess his new costume. "This one is much better." He nodded with appreciation. "To be honest, you looked like a psycho in that bat suit."

"Look who's talking," Robin teased, but regretted it right away as it only agitated his opponent more.

"Now," the Riddler smirked, "you have to solve a small… quite easy I tell you and just for appearances' sake… riddle and choose which ones to save. Here it goes! Choose: there is a home with children that don't have a home and another one that isn't a home anymore, near a certain river, with a woman who just found hers. Or you can save this one here…" Riddler poked Jim in the temple and the old man frowned.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" Robin protested.

"Which is it gonna be, Batman, hah?" Riddler prompted. "You have only ten minutes and you need to choose! You can only go to one place! And we're both know it's not gonna be this street. Are you willing to sacrifice the woman you love to save the kids?"

Robin was presented with an impossible choice, he knew that. Yet, he did have an ass in his sleeve.

There was no time to waste.

He headed right, straight to the river and in the opposite direction to the Wayne manor and kids. There was an abandoned building thon the shore and he was certain he would find Barbara inside.

"Well, that was unexpected…" Riddler, with a baffled expression on his face, said to himself as he watched Robin. "See that, Gordon?" he asked his hostage. "He rather save one woman than a house full of innocent kids! Love is madness, truly. Now… where were we?" he asked and was about to pull the trigger and kill Jim when…

"Not so fast," said Selina Kyle when pressing her own gun to his head from the back.


	11. Chapter 10

**Part 10**

"Not so fast," said Selina Kyle when pressing her own gun to his head from the back.

The Riddler froze, caught off guard for the very first time in his life. Not many people could do it to him after all. In fact, none could, except… He was both shocked by his realization and the voice he recognized. It couldn't be… yet, it was.

Only there was someone else hiding in the shadows. Right now that someone fired and Riddler once more had the upper hand.

Salina cursed and dropped the gun as the bullet grazed her hand. Fortunately, Riddler released Gordon instead of killing him. He had no time to waste. He had to run. Although he still managed to knock Gordon out and then, he finally escaped.

* * *

Robin reached the abandoned building by the shore. He could only pray that he would find Barbara there. There was no time to waste. Anytime the house could just explode.

Only he would sooner die himself trying to rescue her than give up and let her die alone.

"Barbie!" he roared as he kicked the door open, listening carefully for her answer.

Finally, when he already started panicking that he had the wrong place, he heard her.

"Robin! Here! Robin!" she was screaming.

He followed her voice, running upstairs and finding her tied up to a chair.

"Oh, thank god!" she exhaled a breath a relief when she saw him. Then she took a closer look at him. "I really hoped for seeing this suit for the first time before taking it off you and having my wicked way with you," she teased.

"Barbie, there's no time. It's gonna explode!" Robin just yelled and cut her ties.

"I tried to free myself, but that bastard tied it up too tightly," she complained when she was finally free. She tried to stand up but her circulation must've been cut off. She lost her balance and would've fallen down to the floor if Robin hadn't caught her and carried her downstairs in his arms.

Just when they left the building and walked about ten meters, the house exploded. The force of it still throwing them forward. Robin did his best to protect Barbie from the blast.

They lied on the ground, breathing heavily, his body covering hers. They were whole and intact.

"Are you ok?" Robin finally asked when raising himself on his elbows and looking down at her face.

"Yeah…" she gasped, meeting his eyes. "You?"

"I'll live," he replied. "Come, we need to go."

"Where to?"

* * *

_Twenty four hours earlier_

For the first time in his life Robin felt truly powerless. It didn't happen to him where he'd had nowhere to live, even when he'd lost his parents. There was always a way out. Always a means to survive. Now he knew that everyone he loved and care about was in danger.

Barbara was kidnapped by the Riddler and he wasn't a fool to think that her father was safe. If the Riddler could get to her, he could as well get to Jim Gordon, not to mention the other innocent people in the city. Riddler was known for playing with others and Robin was sure that what was awaiting him wouldn't be easy.

This time he didn't really have any other choice. He needed to call for help.

He opened his safe hidden behind the painting in the piano room and retrieved a folded piece of paper from it. It was the same paper that was in the bag Bruce Wayne had left him. There were coordinates on it and something more, an emergency phone number. Exactly what let Robin truly believe that Bruce was not dead.

He dialed the number with his shaky hand.

"I need help. It's happening again," he said into the receiver.

* * *

_Some time earlier_

"We're suckers for doing it again, you know?" Selina said to Bruce as they crossed the bridge that led to Gotham City.

"You could've stayed home," he remarked as he looked at her.

"And let you get yourself killed?" she snorted. "Who saved your ass the last time?"

Bruce just smiled at her and shook his head.

"You'll never let that one go, won't you?"

"Nah, it's too much fun!"

* * *

"Look, it's the Batman!" Marc called as he got to the window.

The other kids followed him immediately, desperate to see their hero.

"Where?"

"Where is he?"

"There! See?!" Malcolm noticed him and pointed the right spot.

Then the door to the Wayne manor was opened and Batman himself strode inside.

"Take the kids away from here!" he threw to one of the nannies. "NOW!"

The woman was too terrified of his raised voice and too surprised to actually protest or ask what that was all about. She began calling to all the kids to get out.

Soon, Batman was left alone in the house and wondered if he could find a bomb, but he gave up. The manor was too big and he didn't have any time left. Besides, he couldn't risk his life, not when he had someone to come home to.

He got out then and watched as one wing of the manor was blown to pieces.

* * *

They were all to meet at one spot in the city.

Bruce got there the second. Selina already waiting for him with Jim Gordon.

"Oh, thank god!" she sighed in relief and threw herself into his arms. "Are you all right?" she made sure when finally pulling away. "Are the kids all right?"

"All saved," Bruce put her mind at rest. "Well, if we don't count that half of my house was destroyed. _Again_. I sent them all to a hotel and told them to send the receive on my name. Of course, I told them it was a friend."

"Well, I hope you didn't give them the real one."

"No, I gave them my alias. I'm not stupid."

"Dully noted," Selina smiled at him, happy that she succeeded once more to make him angry.

"Daddy!" they heard a scream and then they saw Barbara running to Gordon and throwing herself into his arms.

He was weak and suffered from a headache thanks to Riddler hitting him, but he opened his arms and hugged his daughter with relief. He could only thank every deity there was for saving her. Well, maybe not exactly deity since he knew they were all alive thanks to Robin who called for Bruce and Selina.

Soon enough Robin reached them and nodded at everyone.

"Thank you for coming," he turned to the real Batman.

"I thought… I thought you were dead," Barbara said when letting go off her father and looking at both the people she didn't know.

"I let everyone think I was dead, so I could start a new life. I was convinced that Gotham didn't need my anymore," Bruce followed with an explanation.

"Because it doesn't," Selina said in a sharp voice. "There's a new hero in town now."

"Yes, but everyone needs help, even the Batman," Bruce answered to that. "Can we go to the manor? We're out in the open here."

"Did you stop the bomb?" Robin asked.

"No, but the kids and your wing of the castle are intact," the answer came. "We really need to go."


	12. Chapter 11

**Part 12**

The Wayne manor didn't look good when half of it was in rubbles.

"How come the police's already gone?" Jim Gordon asked when noticing the abandoned place.

"I pulled a few strings," Bruce followed with an answer. "We can't have them around to see us. We need to figure out a strategy. The Riddler ran away and we need to catch him. There's three of us now and just one of him."

"I'm not so sure," Selina suddenly spoke. "Someone shot me when I kept him on the gun point." She showed him her hand. "Fortunately, the bullet just grazed me, but there was someone out there, helping the Riddler."

"Maybe he paid someone, who knows," Bruce shrugged it off. "The important thing is that you're all right now." He reached his hand to her and touched her arm, not ready capable of hugging her when in gear.

"I still can't believe it. How come you're not dead?" Barbara asked, turning to him. She'd been in daze ever since she's seen both Bruce and Selina. "How could you survive that blast?"

"I fixed the autopilot," the answer came when they finally reached the door and walked inside.

Barbara stood still for a while, then just shook her head at the obvious explanation and followed the rest.

"John, I need to know all about that guy," Bruce turned to his young progeny when having changed into his casual clothes. He, Robin and Selina sat down together in one of the remaining sitting rooms when Barbara tended to her father in the guestroom. She insisted he rested.

John began telling Bruce and Selina all about the riddles he'd solved so far, some with Barbara's help.

"How did you meet her anyway? I didn't know Gordon had a daughter," Bruce noticed.

"He didn't either, until she appeared in Gotham right after Bane's demise," John explained. He took a closer look at Selina and slightly narrowed his eyes. He'd only seen her on a few occasions in the past, talked to her like the one time when he'd arrested her on the airport. There was something on her face right now, something he couldn't quite decipher, but it was some disturbance. She was engaged in the conversation, but she was deeply immersed in her own thoughts just the same.

"I'm afraid we'll have to wait until Riddler drops another clue and this time, catch him for good," Bruce decided. "And no one knows who this man truly is?"

"No," Robin shook his head. "The police tried to find it out and I did my own research too, but there was just nothing."

* * *

When all was settled, Robin decided to check up on Barbara and Gordon.

When he came closer to the opened door that led to the right room, he involuntarily heard them talking.

"How many times will I have to tell you to leave Gotham?" Barbie was just asking her father when sitting on the edge of his bed. "You will die here if you stay."

"I can't leave, there's nothing for me out there," Jim answered and then his eyes met Robin's. "Barbara," he said to his daughter, "could you please leave me alone with Robin for a moment?"

Barbie looked toward the door as well, surprised to spot Robin there.

"I guess you need to start calling me John again," Robin said, desperate to delay what he could feel coming. "If I'm going by the name of Robin at night, I need to be John in my real life."

"To me, you'll always be Robin," Barbie said when standing up and making her way to the door. "But I'll remember to call you differently in public." She placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed him briefly on the mouth when finally leaving him alone with her father.

"Barbara wanted me to leave Gotham, have a peaceful retirement," Jim informed when John closed the door. The older man didn't have to ask for it, John instinctively felt this was to be a private conversation. "You know why I'm still here?" Jim continued. "Because she is," he answered his own question. "And she's all I have left," his voice cracked a little. "She's everything to me, John. I can't lose her. I won't. Do you understand?"

John couldn't speak at the moment. There was too much going inside of him. He was also scared. He was scared to hear the words Jim was about to speak. He didn't know how to deal with what was coming. How to deal with what had to be done.

"I don't want to hurt you," Gordon continued, "but you need to let her go and I think you know that yourself already."

John just nodded, avoiding looking into Gordon's eyes. His whole world would crumble soon, he could feel it coming. And he couldn't do anything about it. What had happed earlier that day only proved that Barbara didn't belong to his world. She needed to be kept out of it, she needed to be kept safe before it would be too late. Before what had happened to Bruce's first love, would happen to her. Selina was a different story, she was just like Bruce. Barbara, on the other hand, wasn't a vigilante.

"Could you please give me my coat?" Jim asked John as he heaved himself up and got out of bed.

"Are you sure you're up to…?" Robin started, but was shut down by Gordon's hard look.

"One bump in the head is nothing," he just received in answer as John grabbed the coat.

As he did so, something slip out of it. A folded piece of paper.

John picked it up and opened his eyes widely as he read to whom it was addressed.

To _him_.

There was an address in it. The tenth floor of an abandoned block of flats in Gotham.

_Come with Selina Kyle and no one else,_

_ R_

It said.

John frowned at this. Why would Riddler want to see Selina? He wondered. Unless… She did have a criminal past.

"What it is?" Jim asked, coming closer, but John already folded the paper, determined not to show it.

"I need to do something," he just said and left the room in a hurry.

He approached the sitting room where Selina and Bruce still sat . They were eating supper and drinking tea at the moment.

As John looked at the woman again, he could definitely tell that she was detached somehow, immersed into her own private world. She raised her head and met his eyes like she felt that she was being watched.

She looked at him closely, seeing something in his face that told her to stand up and meet him in the hallway.

"You know the Riddler?" John just asked, showing her the note.

"John, please, don't tell anyone…" she suddenly pleaded him.

"What are you hiding from us, Selina?"

"Not now," she cut him off. "Now we need to go. Alone."

"He might've said that, but maybe we should…" John started again.

"No." Selina shook her head adamantly. "We can't. As I said, I know him. We have to go alone. We need to deal with this man once and for all, John."

* * *

Robin was confused and desperate for answers, but still, Selina wouldn't give them to him. Instead, she just told him to hurry up.

They left the house when not telling anyone, dressed up back in their suits, rushing to the pointed by Riddler place.

"I knew you'd come," they heard as soon as they found themselves on the right floor. Riddler's voice coming from the darkness. "You can only imagine my surprise when our paths met again. Welcome back, Selina." He finally stepped out of the shadows, his eyes meeting her own. "It's been quite some time. Why the mask? I already know who you are." He smiled to her.

* * *

**AN: **I can already feel the angry reviews coming about how Barbara can be equal to Robin when becoming the Batgirl, but once again - wait for it.


	13. Chapter 12

**Part 12**

"It's been quite some time. Why the mask? I already know who you are." The Ridder smiled to her. "And there you are," he turned to Robin, "you've been fighting along her side, haven't you Batman? Do you have any idea what she did in her past? Do you have any idea who your girlfriend truly is?"

"Enough of this small talk. If you think you're gonna get out of here alive, then you're mistaken," Selina hissed and threw herself at him.

Robin didn't waste any time. His concern wasn't her story at the moment, it was between her and Bruce. He only wanted to make sure the Riddler would never attack the people he loved ever again. Jim and Barbara Gordon would live and they would be happy, Robin would make sure of that.

The Riddler was actually very good in hand to hand combat and Robin was surprised by seeing Selina lying on the ground so fast.

"You think you can take down _me_?! I made you!" Riddler screamed when spreading his hands and standing over Selina who was in pain now. "I made _everything _you are today!" he continued. "I was your first in every way imagine. I taught you everything I knew and just because of this, you will never be better than I am."

"Let's see how you feel about me," Robin murmured and got to Riddler, attacking him.

"Oh, don't tell me you still take her back after everything you've just heard!" Riddler raised his voice when addressing his opponent.

"I don't give a damn! She's not my girlfriend!"

"Oh, that's right. You're acting on two fronts now, is that so, Batman?"

"I'm not Batman. My name is Robin," John said in a hard voice and inflicted another blow to Riddler's face. This time he actually staggered and then was kicked by Selina who finally raised from the ground.

"Even if you get rid of me," Riddler said, "there's still something coming. Something you're not anticipating. Something dark! This is not over!"

"Oh, yes, it is!" Selina screamed, took a swing and kicked the Riddler in the chest, sending him flying into the window which broke.

Robin watched in horror as Bruce Wayne's girlfriend, the person who'd sworn that she wouldn't take a life, just did it again.

The Riddler fell down ten stores and there was no way he survived the fall.

"He said… he said…" Robin started, feeling his guts clench.

"I know what he said," Selina interrupted. "And he was right. There's always someone else to fight, but he is gone forever, John. We don't need to be worried about him."

* * *

When John and Selina came back to the manor, Bruce and Barbara were livid. Barbara was waiting anxiously, her father already gone.

"Where the fuck were you?!" Bruce snapped at them both when they walked inside. "One moment you're just gone and Gordon tells me about some note?! Do you have any idea how scared I was for you?!" that last question was clearly directed at Selina.

John, on the other hand, faced a very silent Barbara.

"Are you all right?" she just asked before pulling him into her arms and hugging him tight.

He was stiff when she did it, because he knew what he had to do. What he still had to do this night. There was something heavy in his guts as he felt it coming closer and closer, but he needed to do it. He would not take Gordon's daughter away from him. He would not live with those kind of regrets.

"What about Riddler?" Barbie asked when pulling away and sending John a very quizzical look. She could feel something was wrong with him.

"He's dead," John answered.

"He's what?" Bruce asked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"He means that I threw him out the window. Did to him what he deserved," they were all even more shocked when they heard it coming from Selina.

"You did _what_?!" Bruce was beyond angry and disappointed with her now, added to that, he looked really hurt like Selina slapped him or worse, like she'd just ripped out his heart.

She looked down, avoiding his eyes and just said, "I think it's time we talk seriously. I never told you about my past. You didn't really ask and there was no point in digging in it until…"

"Wait… you _knew _him?" Bruce asked, his voice hushed for a change. "Who was he for you? Who?!"

"Bruce, we need to be alone for this kind of talk."

"Barbara, I need to talk to you as well," Robin spoke to his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. "I'll drive you home."

* * *

"I don't want to hear it," Barbara said sharply when the car stopped in front of her house. She could see the light in the rooms what indicated that her father was waiting for her.

"Barbara…" John started, turning to her with serious face.

"Exactly," she said, "you're calling me Barbara and as much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't speak good news. John, I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you. I made that decision and I'm sticking to it," she said adamantly.

"I love you," John suddenly said to her, realizing it was the very first time. But also the last. He needed to make his feelings clear. He at least owed her that much.

It also silenced her, like she was too stunned to speak for a moment.

"I love you, but I can't be with you," he continued, "and it's_ my _decision. You need to respect it."

"No, no, I will not!" she denied and he could see tears forming in her eyes already. It was killing him.

"I don't want to be with you anymore," he said slowly and quietly but sharply. Every word slicing her and his own heart. "It's the right thing to do, even if it means letting you go."

"But Selina and Bruce…" Barbie quickly started.

"I told you the difference and I told you already what happened to Bruce before her. You just don't fit into my world, Barbara, and I am sorry for that. I'd rather you were alive and away than with me and dead. This is my choice. And I don't want to see you ever again."

"But…" she started, her voice breaking.

"Get out of the car," John said in a voice that was completely rid of any feelings. It was hard and unyielding, but it would do the job, even if it was killing him inside. He looked ahead, refusing to look her in the eye again and his fists clenched around the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. "Just get out!" he screamed and he could see in the corner of his eyes that she shook in fear and then finally, she left, sobbing.

It was the only way and he knew it. Still, it was killing him. It pained him like nothing he'd ever felt before.

Then he just drove away.

* * *

Once John got back home, he hit the gym, glad that it wasn't destroyed. He needed to work off his frustration, pain and rage somehow and this seemed to be the only way he could.

He didn't know how much time he'd spent in there exactly, but once he was done and went to take a shower, he was exhausted and all his muscles ached. Still, it didn't dull the pain he felt in his heart and the guilt that he'd hurt the one woman he'd ever loved so deeply.

He put some pants on and a undershirt and then decided to pour himself a drink to wash his misery in alcohol. He seemed to be oblivious to the horrible lightening storm that was going on outside, the rain pouring down from the skies like it was tears.

He was about to knock the whole glass of whiskey down when there was a knock on the door.

He froze. Who could it be at such an hour? He wondered and put the glass back on the table, then heaved himself up and went to answer the door.

It was Barbie. Barbie, completely drenched because of the rain. Her hair plastering to her skin as it was so wet. She was shaking from cold and standing on his porch.

"I'm sorry, Robin," she said to him, "I just can't do this without you. I can't be without you. You're in me and my life will never be the same again."

He was weak. All of his walls crumbled down.

He couldn't stand this anymore. There was only one choice he could make and it was her. He didn't care about the world. He didn't care about Jim Gordon's wishes. He didn't give a damn about anything, even the whole universe. All he cared about was her, because somehow, she'd become all his world. She was all he had and he couldn't let it go. He was too weak and he couldn't keep pushing her away. She would just come back anyway, breaking all the barriers there were between them.

He didn't say anything, he just groaned and swept her into his arms, kissing her like he wanted to bruise her mouth with his, clenching on to her, his hands like vices as he lifted her up when she jumped to him and then he had her in his arms, her legs closed around his waist and he carried her inside.


	14. Chapter 13

**Part 13**

A lightening cut the sky when Selina spoke her first words.

"I met him when I was young, lost, lonely and stupid," she started, for some reason avoiding Bruce's eyes. She preferred to watch the fire ignited in the fireplace. "He was… he was my everything once," she confessed, her voice breaking a little. "He went by the name John. I didn't know he was the Riddler when I came here with you," she said like she could sense that Bruce wanted to ask her whether that was the reason she'd been so eager to come back. "I think it's not his real name anyway. He never told me his surname either. I bet he would answer John Smith if I asked…"

* * *

Robin carried Barbara the whole way to his bedroom where he finally dropped her on the bed and started kissing again with such intensity that she forgot her own name. The only thing that mattered was right here and right now.

"Robin, I love you… I love you too…" she kept on whispering as he was undressing her and getting lost in her body. He sucked hard on her nipples, placed kisses on her stomach, on her thighs, on the inside…

She was surprised herself how quickly he brought her to her first climax with his mouth, not bothering to stop, still in a rush like he thought she would be taken away from him in the morning.

"Oh, no," she said and sat on the bed, realizing she was completely naked whereas he was still wearing his clothes. "You will not dump me again," she said in an adamant voice and pulled his shirt, taking it off him. "You promise me!" she raised her voice slightly as she dealt with his belt and fly and finally, she had him hard and twitching in her hand. "Do you hear me?" she made sure while holding him and looking up into his eyes. "Promise me," she repeated, demanding an answer.

Robin knew he couldn't really deny her that. He was lost. He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't keep hurting her, because it was killing him. Just like she was killing him now when not doing anything in particular with his hard length.

"I promise," he finally uttered and she went down on him, taking him in her mouth, sucking hard on him and fondling his balls with her hands. "Oh, fuck…" he rasped as his knees nearly buckled. He was exhausted that night because of the fight with the Riddler and his death, the break-up, his session in the gym and now this. He couldn't hold on for longer so he let go, coming inside Barbara's mouth, watching her swallowing, watching her loving him. It nearly undid him completely. It was too much like for one night. Too many emotions. Men shouldn't feel so much in such a short period of time.

He laid down next to her, utterly drained, breathing heavily and wanting nothing more than to sleep forever with Barbara by his side.

Few minutes later he found out that his body had different ideas. He got hard again as she started idly playing with his cock and soon, her had her pinned to the bed again and he was fucking her.

She was tired too, but still, they kept making love desperately, completely lost in each other. Finally, Barbara felt her climax approaching and every stroke of Robin's cock was torturous to her in a very good way. Once she did come, Robin let go, having no strength to go on any longer.

"Don't ever leave me again," Barbara whispered into his ear with her arms still wounded tightly around him, with him still inside of her. None of them wanted or have the strength to let go for the moment. "It goes both ways," she continued when idly stroking his back, then ass, "you think I'm not worried every single night when you might not come home?"

That did it. The heavy feeling in his gut returned and he managed to slip out of her and laid right next to her side on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I can't leave Gotham," he just said.

"I know," she spoke again, "and I would never ask you to. You have to be Robin, it's a part of who you are. You were shaped into it and I have no right to ask you to let go. You just need to promise me you will be careful and always wear Kevlar. You're not a machine and you need someone to come home to."

"Do you have any idea what you're signing yourself up for?" he asked her when tilting his head to meet her eyes.

"I do," she assured him. "I want this. I love you."

"Your father's going to kill me," he just groaned when covering his face with his hands.

"I don't have to be in danger," she continued. "No one needs to know about us. All they'll see will be John Blake and Barbara Gordon together. They will never see her with Robin again. We just need to be careful. The Riddler is gone, Robin, no one knows about us." She turned to a side and placed her hand on his cheek, then kissed him. "Now… you will have a lot of making up to do, you realize that, don't you?" she asked with a teasing smile on her face.

"Oh, no… heavens help me!" Robin pretended to be scared. "Can it at least wait till tomorrow? I can't stay awake…" he mumbled and then he put his arm around her so she settled her head on his chest and before they knew it, they were sound asleep.

* * *

"You had an affair with him," Bruce said in a hard voice and stood up, walking toward a window to look out at the lightening sky.

"Yes, I did. It was who I was back there. I'm not going to apologize for that. Everyone has a past, Bruce."

"Of course, but not everyone is a such a conniving…" he stopped, not really wanting to call her a bitch.

"Oh, because you're so noble! You did try to kill the murderer of your parents! It was all you wanted to do when you came back to Gotham years ago!" Selina raised her voice.

"But the difference is that I didn't do it," Bruce said, turning back to her and meeting her eyes. "You are a killer, Selina. You're still are. Maybe you'll always be. I don't know how…" his voice suddenly broke and he closed his eyes like he tried to pull himself under control again. "I'm not sure where we can go from here…"

"I knew there would come a day when I wouldn't be a fit for the noble Bruce Wayne," she said sarcastically.

"Selina…" he started.

"I'm sorry, but the world isn't black and white!" she suddenly screamed. "I _knew _the Riddler! He was vicious and he didn't think a human life held any value whatsoever! I did what I thought was right! He would've broken out of any jail! No one would've tamed him! He needed to die and I still don't think I did anything wrong! I just try to be a better person, Bruce!" She had tears in her eyes as it dawned on her that what she and Bruce had might've been lost forever. He would certainly never look at her the same way again. "I do it all for _you!_" She raised up from her sit and faced him. "I can't ever go back to my criminal past because I love you! I didn't team up with Riddler! I got rid of him! And if you really knew him, you'd known I did the right thing! Whether you like it or not, I did the right thing!" she repeated.

Bruce's expression was hard as well. He couldn't stand it anymore. He could feel himself braking too. He didn't understand Selina. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone. More than he'd ever loved Rachel. And now he didn't know how to handle the situation. He didn't see any other way. He'd just lost her. Could he forgive an actual murder?

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't keep looking at her. He couldn't see her tears.

He turned to the exit. Being anywhere else but there with her was better.

* * *

Jim Gordon heard his daughter getting up and then the front door closing. She probably thought she was quiet, but he could hear it anyway.

He knew where she went and he could just sigh heavily and pray to god that she would be safe.

* * *

A man stood hidden in the shadows near the Wayne manor, watching the ruins. His bomb had caused a lot of damage, but it was just the beginning. There was still so much more to come.

They all thought they were safe as they'd gotten rid of the Riddler. What they didn't know was that the Riddler was just a pawn in his game.

Another lightening crossed the sky, illuminating the man for a second. The scars around his mouth that were forming a large smile, looked even more grotesque in this light.


	15. Chapter 14

**Part 14**

Bruce didn't anticipate that he would see Selina so quickly after walking out on her. Before he knew it, he got a call from Robin telling him that Jim Gordon wanted them all gathered together for a serious talk again.

"What's so urgent?!" Bruce asked angrily when finally stepping into the manor. If they kept on meeting like this, he would never be able to hire contractors to rebuild the destroyed part of the house.

Everyone was already there. Barbara sitting on John's laps, Selina standing by the window with her arms folded on her chest and her back turned on him and Jim Gordon leaning against the desk.

"Mr. Wayne," Jim nodded toward him. "I take that we can start."

"Dad, what's wrong?" Barbie asked. She hadn't known Gordon for long, but all the time she'd already spent with him taught her how to read him. He was beyond upset. He seemed to be afraid, but he was hiding it well.

"I might be retired, but I still listen to the police scanner," Jim began explaining, "and I still have a few contacts in the police that let me know about the more serious threats."

"What kind of threats? I thought the Riddler was gone," John said.

"He is," Jim assured. "His body was found, but they still can't assume his identity. I received a call from my friend this morning and all the puzzles finally fit. Do you remember any other man without an identity?" he asked a question.

They all sent him confused glances. All but Bruce.

"I took care of him. I locked him up," he said in a hard voice.

"He's alive. He's on the run," Jim simply said. "The police received an audio, here it is," he continued as he pushed the button on his cell phone.

All they heard was a manic laugh. A laugh Bruce knew perfectly and now could feel all the hair on his body standing up.

"Joker's free and he won't stop till he's finished what he started," Jim said. "It's too late to run for any of us," his look briefly set on his daughter. She met it bravely. She wouldn't run and she wouldn't regret her decision. Not ever. "He knows us and he wants us dead or suffering."

"You should've killed him when you had the chance," Selina finally spoke, facing Bruce. She wore a hard expression. "Some people can't be helped. Some people need to be disposed of."

"When you kill someone, it eats away at you," Bruce finally turned to her and spoke, "it kills you from the inside, no matter how evil the person you killed was. And in the end, you become just like them, because you can't live with yourself."

"Well, I'm still here and I'm still in your team," Selina scoffed. "Don't patronize me, Bruce. I can tell the difference between good and bad."

"Do you? What about all those times you sold me or left me for death?!" he raised his voice.

"Guys!" John stood up, first letting Barbara get off his laps. "We should be fighting the Joker, not each other. If you have issues, take it somewhere else."

"How many lives will he take before you do something about that, hah, Bruce?!" Selina continued, ignoring Blake. "He's already killed your Rachel and then he destroyed Harvey Dent! If you'd killed him in time, then maybe Rachel would've still been alive! There wouldn't have been a place for me in your life and you could've still lived in Gotham, raising a happy family!"

"Selina," Bruce's voice softened. "You know well that it's not…"

"Fuck you!" She pointed her finger at him and left the room.

"Just perfect," Gordon sighed heavily.

"I think I'll do some research in the library," Barbara said when also directing herself to the door.

"No one could find anything about the Riddler or the Joker," her father noticed.

"No one else is me." She winked at him.

"Let me take you there," Robin offered.

"I can take myself…" she started, but he stopped her.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't want anything happen to you, Barbie. Please, respect that. We're together and I will not try to leave you ever again. Just let me protect you, for yours and your father's sake."

She sighed, but nodded.

"Let's go."

* * *

"You know, I'm all for the no kill policy, but I can't help thinking that Selina's a little bit right," Barbie said when John was walking her to the library. "Sometimes psychopaths need to be stopped. Sometimes nothing really can help them and if they keep breaking out of prison and coming after those we love… who's to say that killing them is the wrong thing to do? Sometimes it's kill or be killed."

Robin remained silent by her side until he finally said, "I can understand both sides," he confessed. "You're right, but… I saw Selina throwing Riddler out that window and it took a toll on her. She needs help."

"Bruce should try to understand and give her that help," Barbie agreed. "I never said that taking someone's life doesn't destroy you, but sometimes it's the only option. Maybe I could try and talk to her? Maybe we could be friends."

"Try, you can't do any damage anyway."

They finally reached the library.

"I'll be safe inside," Barbara assured Robin and kissed him softly on the lips. "See you later."

"Call me when you leave," he insisted.

"Yes, sir," she said, joking and then disappeared inside the building.

* * *

Few hours later, Selina was on the computer in the library, which was connected both to the internet and the whole library database. First she was looking specifically for Joker, but it only got her as far as to events from eight years ago when he'd appeared in Gotham and led to the deaths of Rachel Dawes and Harvey Dent, not to mention the havoc he'd wrecked in the city, almost causing her father's son's death and Batman had taken the blame. There was nothing that reached earlier and Barbara decided to change her strategy.

Joker was crazy, she thought, so maybe with a little bit of luck, she could find him in one of psychiatric hospitals' archives.

Another hour later she sucked in her breath. She still didn't find any information, but she found a picture. Thought that she could find more. She just needed to get to that hospital and pull the old files and…

On the old picture she very clearly saw two men. Men in hospital clothes. One of them was freshly scarred as he had bandages on his face around his lips. Another was… it was the Riddler.

Joker and Riddler knew each other. They had planned all of what had happened together. And now she knew where to learn more about them.

Barbara reached for her cell with the intention to call Robin.

* * *

Robin was just stopping a bank robbery.

One would think they wouldn't happen any longer since Gotham had two protectors now, but there were still people out there that were stupid enough to try it.

His phone started ringing, but he couldn't pick up at the moment.

* * *

"Shit!" Barbara cursed and started rapping her fingers against her desk. She felt anxious to just get out and go look for information they all so desperately needed.

She didn't know she was being watched through a mini-camera that had been planted in her office earlier by Joker when everybody had been distracted by Riddler.

* * *

"You know too much, girl," Joker said to himself as he watched her on his screen. "So you need to be taken care of… or not…" he thought about it harder. "I've done that already and it still didn't break Batman. Maybe it's time to get more creative? To make Robin and Batman suffer even more. What is quick death compared to a life-long suffering?

He reached for a burner phone and dialed John Blake's number.

"Yes?" he heard a rather breathless voice in the receiver. "I couldn't pick up earlier, I…" he started, clearly oblivious to who was calling him.

"If you hurry up, you might still get to the library in time to save your precious girlfriend," Joker said and hung up, laughing. "Work to do," he murmured under his breath.

* * *

Despite all those times Robin had been rushing to safe someone or to stop a bomb, he thought he'd never run as fast as he did now. The Batcycle was hidden in one of the corners in the city, but too far away. He decided he would make the way faster on feet.

* * *

There was insistent knocking on the library door and Barbara heaved herself from her seat, tired of waiting and doing nothing productive. It was surely John with an apology ready to why he hadn't picked up earlier.

She walked through the hallway and finally unlocked and opened the door to face… no one, really.

"John?" she frowned and made a step outside the door. "John?!" She looked around.

"Barbie!" she heard his breathless voice and she turned in the direction it was coming from, scared that he was in trouble.

"Are you ok?! Where are you?!" she called out.

He finally came into her sight. He was running from something for sure, so Barbie stepped aside, leaving the door opened for him.

"Behind you!" he screamed and she frowned again.

What was he talk…

There was a shot. A gun shot. She heard it rather than actually felt it, but then she realized she was no longer standing. She was falling forward, down to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she heard Robin's panicked roar.

He came to a sudden stop just a few steps from her lying motionless on the ground. He was frozen. For a brief terrifying second he could just stand there, feeling like he was a rock, seeing the Joker with the gun, the gun firing and his beloved one getting down on the floor. Joker was gone already and his manic laughter still rang in Robin's ears.

_No, it's not real, it can't be real. She can't be dead,_ John repeated silently in his head like a mantra before he forced himself to open his eyes and look.

"No!" he screamed again when his own knees gave up under him and hit the hard ground painfully. "No, please, no!" He could feel tears wetting his face and didn't even know when they'd appeared there. He was shaking as he gently scooted Barbara in his arms.

Then, to his great relief, he noticed that she wasn't dead. There was blood, but her eyes were open. She was conscious.

"Robin," she squealed, her voice barely audible. "I can't… feel anything," she just said before her eyes rolled back.

"No! Stay with me! Don't you dare dying! I'll get your help!"

It was when he picked her up that he noticed that the bullet hole was not in her chest, legs or arms. He felt like his insides turned to ice, like he couldn't think anymore and all he was capable of was to run toward a hospital that was nearby.

He didn't want to think that the bullet was in her spine.

* * *

**AN: **Ok, I know what you're all thinking right now. And I know you're cursing me or worse:P I know what happened to Barbara Gordon in comic books and how she became the Oracle, but this isn't the case, all right?

I don't want to give much away, but I want you not to worry too much. The rage in Robin needs to come out at some point and then again, remember this quote? _Why do we fall? _Now answer yourself.

See you next time!

* * *

You can see a video I made about this scene and the preview to the outcome.

* * *

Youtube

* * *

watch?v=B0ezSqqyzwY

* * *

Full link in my profile


	16. Chapter 15

**Part 15**

Robin reached the emergency entrance to the hospital.

"HELP! I NEED HELP!" he started screaming and then noticed that he was wearing his suit. He couldn't let anyone know he was in a relationship with the woman that was most probably dying in his arms right now.

It was all too much. There was too much going on inside of him and he felt like he would soon explode with both grief and rage. "HELP!" he screamed again.

He thought a whole eternity passed before people ran out of the hospital, ready to take over from there. In fact, it was merely a few seconds.

"What happened?!" a doctor got to Robin and looked at Barbara, checking her pulse. "She's alive," he said.

"She's got shot," Robin explained when placing her body on the cot that two nurses just brought. "You should call her father. She's Barbara Gordon, the daughter of the ex police commissioner."

"Should we call someone else? Relatives, boyfriend?" one of the nurses asked as the doctor already brought Barbie inside the hospital.

"No…" Robin found himself saying, unable to stop looking at the spot where last was the love of his life. "He… Gordon… he'll do it. I need to go." Then he just disappeared.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Robin was back in the caves on his Batcycle. He got out of it and couldn't help it anymore. He roared, giving vent to all his frustrations and pain. It still felt like not enough so he punched his fist into the wall, then bent down in pain as his knuckles were bruised by the hard stone, blood spilling.

Still not enough. He pushed through the pain and started crashing the place.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Bruce just got down. He was angry, Robin could tell. But Robin also didn't care.

"You just couldn't fucking finish him off!" Robin threw himself at Bruce, but the older man was more skilful and he soon had John pinned against the wall.

"Calm down!" he screamed at him.

"You should've killed him!" Robin kept on roaring and kept struggling so hard that Bruce was losing the hold on him. "If you'd fucking killed him, none of this wouldn't of happened!"

"What the fuck is going on down here?!" Selina got to them. "Let him go, Bruce!" With her help Robin managed to free himself, but he instantly threw a punch in Bruce's face. "Guys! Guys! Calm the fuck down!" Selina stepped between the two of them to separate them. Bruce was wiping the blood from his face when Robin was still trying to attack. "Robin!" Selina yelled at him and finally, he stilled, but he was still furious. "What happened?" she asked, suddenly afraid of the worst.

"You were right, Selina," Robin just faced her, his voice temporarily back to normal. "Your boyfriend was so afraid to stain his hands that now we all need to pay for his fucking mistakes. Joker got to Barbara."

"Oh, my god," Selina gasped. "Is she alright?"

"I don't know," Robin answered, desperation sounding in his voice. "She's been shot. I got her to a hospital."

"Robin, everything will be…" Selina started when coming closer, but he pushed her away.

"Nothing will be the fuck ok!" he screamed again. "He shot her in the spine!"

There was silence, only broke now by the hum of the falling water.

"The love of my life is hurt because of you," Robin spoke again a moment later, pointing his finger at Bruce. "How will I look Gordon in the eye? HOW?!" He was about to punch the wall one more time when Selina stopped him.

He kept on yelling though and Bruce could just stand there, in shock, pain on his face. He accepted everything was verbally thrown at him. He wished he'd never given Blake the directions to this very place. Being Batman seemed like a sentence now. He'd been stupid to leave the city in the younger man's hands. He should've finished what he'd started, sacrificed himself completely so no one else needed to do it as well.

"John, stop!" Bruce screamed back at him, finally pulling himself together. "Barbara needs you at the hospital. She'll want to see you when she wakes up."

"_IF_ she wakes up!" Robin corrected.

"No, she will. You have to believe that. She's strong."

"I hate to say it, but Bruce's right," Selina spoke. "Go change into some civil clothes and go see her, Robin."

Finally, he left, listening to them.

* * *

When Blake arrived at the hospital and went to the right floor, he spotted Jim Gordon sitting in the waiting room. He wasn't ready to face him. He already hated himself and he didn't need any addition to that, but he needed to be a man, not a coward. It was his fault and he needed to pay for it.

He made his way to Gordon.

"Gordon…" he started, but Jim was already on his feet, his hands grabbing the front of Robin's shirt and shaking him.

"You…" he started, but there was a man running to them and pulling Jim away from Robin.

"It's alright," Robin said to the man, feeling awful that Jim, out of all people, needed to be restrained by a security guard. "Let him go."

The man didn't look convinced but did as he was asked. Then he stayed in the close distance if anything should happen.

"I don't have the strength to tell you all the things I want to," Jim finally spoke again, this time in a much calmer voice. "I also know that you tried to break it off and I know my daughter can be stubborn. I should've known better than to trust a young couple in love that they be careful."

"It's my fault," Robin found himself saying. "I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen."

"And I wanted Joker dead," Gordon suddenly said in a hard voice. "I know all about Batman's code of honor, but I wanted that scumbag dead the moment he was arrested. I wanted my daughter out of Gotham…" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and shook his head. "I can't lose her. I just can't…"

Robin wanted to say something again, but then the doctor appeared.

"Mr. Gordon?" he asked.

"Yes." Both Jim and Robin turned to him for news.

"Barbara is out of surgery," he notified. "She's alive. Unfortunately, I have some bad news," he added. "I'm truly sorry, but there was nothing we could do. She's paralyzed from the waist down."

There it was. Like a death sentence to Robin. He could just stand there, digesting those words, feeling like in a some strange vague dream. It couldn't be real. She couldn't… She…

Then he noticed he was left alone as Jim was already inside Barbara's room.

Good twenty minutes had passed before Jim emerged again and faced Robin.

"She's still sleeping off the anesthesia. I'm going to get some coffee. If you want…" he nodded toward the room.

Robin knew how much it cost him to suggest and he was grateful for it. He just nodded and walked into the room. He wasn't capable of speaking at the moment. Maybe he would never be again.

She was there, lying in a bed. Her face pale, a terrible contrast with her red hair.

Robin just sat by her side and took her hand. He could only hold it and keep looking at her. He was still a mess inside and he preferred to be in that strange apathy than to actually face his feelings.

Jim Gordon came back too fast and Blake was thrown out as the older man wanted to be alone with his daughter. Robin understood that Gordon was still angry with him, but he was also angry with Bruce Wayne, Joker, Gotham and the whole world. Maybe the most he was angry with himself for not leaving the city when he'd had the chance. For letting his family leave when he'd stayed behind.


	17. Chapter 16

**Part 16**

Robin didn't really know what to do or where to go now. His life seemed like it ended and all that was left were ashes. And rage. The rage was all that was fueling him at the moment and he was sick tired of trying to restrain his dark urges. Or trying to stop himself from crossing the line.

When he came back to the manor, there was only one thing on his mind: revenge. He needed to have it. He needed to make Joker suffer, because it was all he had left. Then he would be just done. He didn't even care if he lived. Life for him at this point was nothing more but misery anyway.

"Robin?" Selina knocked on his door when she heard him coming back. "Can I come in?" she asked, but there was no answer.

She pushed the door open anyway and found him sitting in a chair with his face hidden in his hands.

"What happened in the hospital?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

"What do you think happened?" Robin asked back, his voice bitter and full of pain. "She's alive," he finally answered when raising his face to look at Selina. "But she will never walk again. It's even worse, she's paralyzed."

Selina, even though she was a woman, always had troubles when dealing with feelings. She had no idea what to say or do to make the situation better, to make John feel better, but she guessed there was not such a thing anyway. People suffered. People died. People learnt how to survive. Her life was only pain and survival anyway. She thought she might've found something better with Bruce, something different from all she'd known, but right now she wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe people never changed. Maybe love just wasn't enough.

"I'm sorry," she just said with compassion in her voice.

"He needs to pay," Robin spoke again when clenching his fists. "Joker needs to pay."

"I agree," Selina said again, "but it needs to be done with clear head and you, Robin, don't have it right now. He'll kill you if you go up against him like this."

"I don't care," the answer came.

"Do you think anyone gives a damn what you care or don't care about?!" she suddenly asked, slightly rising her voice and surprising him by it. "She's still alive, Robin! She's alive and she needs us! Especially you! You can't just go and hunt Joker down! What would she think of you, then?! Would she like you to get hurt?! Think about this," she finished and opened the door. "Get some rest. You'll need it." After that, she left.

Selina didn't think Robin would go anywhere that night. It was raining again and the first signs of another lightening storm were seen.

* * *

Selina wasn't sure whether it was a good idea, but she went to see Bruce anyway. Maybe it was a lost cause, but she still loved him. He was the best thing that ever happened to her and she wouldn't just leave. Not this time. This time she was determined to fight till the very end. Besides, she felt like she had a family now. A family that needed her. She'd just met Robin and Barbara, but she couldn't imagine her life without them in it. All she'd known once was loneliness and cruelty, she wanted something else. She wanted light and warm.

"Bruce?" she asked when pushing the door open, spotting him sitting by the fireplace, watching the flames. "Are you ok?" she asked tentatively.

"You know, Robin was right. You were all right," Bruce suddenly said. "I have something that I believe it firmly. It's something I live by. And now a person is hurt because of it. What kind of a world we're living in, Selina?" Bruce looked at her and she was relieved that he didn't intend on throwing her out of his room or screaming at her this time. "I'm so lost. All I've ever believed was to preserve life at all cost. I never wanted to be a murderer. I never wanted to change like Dent did when Rachel died. Now… Now I don't know anything anymore. I've never killed. I've never taken a life and if I'd had, then Barbara would've still be ok. What kind of a world is this? Why by killing one person I could've spared so much pain? And if I'd killed him before, would've I been still me now?"

Selina once again didn't have the answer for him. She wished she could tell him something that would stop him from brooding and hurting himself like this, but she didn't know what that might be.

"The world is cruel," was all she could tell him and mean it. "It's the only thing I know for sure. Nothing is black and white. It's gray. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do to make sure others are safe."

"Is that why you killed him? The Riddler? You knew he would always win. You knew he would never stop. That he would eventually escape any place we would lock him in." Bruce asked when she made her way to him and sat next to him by the fire.

"Yes," she just answered. "Don't think it doesn't affect me. It does. I feel guilty. Everyone with conscience feels guilty, but some things need to be done."

"I don't think I could do it. I still don't think…" his voice trailed off.

"And that's why I love you so much," Selina confessed and their eyes met. "You're so good. You always have hope inside of you. You made me a better person."

"I'm no good," he said. "It's all my fault. My mess. I left. And now a girl is hurt. She's Gordon's daughter for a god's sake! Gordon! The one person who, beside Alfred, was like a father figure to me! I've done this to him! And now Robin… I thought he could carry on my torch, but… I just broke him."

"You didn't do any of this," Selina said and cupped Bruce's face, looking him deeply in the eye. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. It just happened. We have no control over it."

"It feels like my fault."

"Gotham isn't your responsibility. How many times do I have to tell you this for it to sink in?"

"I just want them to be happy. I just want them to survive and be happy," Bruce murmured and then he kissed Selina. He needed to forget. He needed this brief respite from the pain and worries. He couldn't think of it anymore. He couldn't feel this guilt inside. It was like his insides were made out of lead that was wearing him down. He needed to make it stop. "Make it stop," he pleaded Selina as they kissed.

She could just be there for him. She could undress him and let him undress her. She could take him to bed. This was the only thing she could give him at the moment. It was love.

* * *

"She doesn't want to see you, sir," the doctor was saying.

"What do you mean?! I'm her boyfriend! I _need _to see her! She can't just…" Blake was arguing in the hospital corridor.

"I'm sorry. I need to respect the patient's wishes. She refuses to see anyone."

"It's no use, John," Robin suddenly heard Jim Gordon's voice. "Walk away before security will have to escort you out."

Robin turned around to face Gordon.

"I just want to see her. I need to see how she is."

"I do too," Jim admitted. "But she'd rather be alone."

"She doesn't even want you inside?" Robin was surprised. "Why?"

"She told me to leave the moment she woke up," Gordon explained. "She just… She's suffering and I don't know how to help her. She also doesn't want that help."

* * *

When Robin came back to the manor two hours later he was furious once more. He'd managed to fall asleep last night, because he'd been exhausted. Once he'd woken up tough, he'd rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately, however he might've tried, Barbara had still refused to see him and anyone else.

He was so angry that he started trashing his room.

* * *

Bruce Wayne sneaked into the hospital and then straight into Barbara's room.

"I told them I didn't want to fucking see anyone," she said in an angry voice the moment he found himself inside.

He wouldn't leave though. Someone needed to talk some sense into her. He thought like he owed it to Gordon and John.

"Barbara, refusing to see and talk to the people that love you won't change anything. You need them as much as they need you right now."

"Why? I'm useless now. Good riddance," she said under her breath.

"You don't mean that," Bruce said and walked over to her, then took the chair next to her bed. "You're alive. You still have something to live for as well."

"Spare me, Wayne. My life could as well be over. I can't walk. I can't even fucking feel! What kind of a life is this? I can't do anything. I will never run again. I will never feel my legs and… god… Robin… I will never feel _him _again. I don't want to live like this! I won't!" she screamed, tears stinging her eyes even, though she hated herself for crying and tried to stop.

Bruce's expression hardened.

"It's all my fault," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's not your fault!" she yelled at him again. "Don't you dare thinking that just because you didn't take a life that I'm like this! Don't you dare! It just happened. It happened because I got too close to this. Too close to Robin," her voice was bitter now. "But god help me, I don't regret it. I would've done it all over again…. I just… I just want this agony to end."

"I'll help you," Bruce's voice was adamant. "I promise. I will move mountains to help you."

"_How_?" she just asked.


	18. Chapter 17

**Part 17**

Nothing could stop Robin this time. As soon as the night fell again, he left the manor in his suit, rage boiling inside of him. All he wanted to do was to find Joker and inflict him pain, nothing else mattered. He was on the rampage and there was no one to stop him. Both Bruce and Selina weren't present at the house.

"Where are you?" Robin was muttering under his breath. "Where the fuck are you hiding? Come out!"

It was typical, really, when one needed to find someone, they were nowhere to be seen and when one didn't want to encounter them, there they were.

Finally, after another hour as Robin was searching through the city, so angry that his every move was betraying his emotions, he heard, "Well, well, well, I did do well, didn't I?" It was the Joker. It was the same annoying voice, the same manic laughter that seemed to be present by every syllable.

"You kept me waiting long enough," Robin nearly growled at Joker as he swirled around to face him.

"Careful there, clouded mind doesn't make for a good judgment," Joker just said and laughed again. "Oh, how I _love _watching you squirm! This might be my best gig. You see, I've learnt that losing one's health is far more dangerous than losing life. When someone is dead, they're no more and you can just move on. It's what Batman did after I killed his sweetheart. And now here we are again!" Joker spread his arms. "Hit me with your best shot!"

Robin roared in his throat. All those years he'd been hiding it inside came to waste now as he was ready to surrender to his true nature, to surrender to the darkness and rage he'd always felt hidden just beneath the surface. He'd once sworn he would be a good man, that he wouldn't be swayed to the other side. Only what was the other side exactly? When one line ended and the other began? Didn't cause justified the means? He would never become like Joker, despite what Bruce might've thought about killing. He would never kill and hurt just for fun, because there was no fun in it.

Before Robin managed to jump to Joker with his fists and attack him, he was suddenly held down by his lackeys. He hadn't sensed them coming and he was good at it. He'd leant how to do it once he'd took over Bruce and now all that knowledge was for nothing. Maybe Joker was right, maybe Robin's mind was, indeed, clouded.

As Robin was held by two men that were twice his size, Joker approached him with a razor in his hand.

"Now, now… do you know how I got these scars?" he asked when pointing at his own face.

Then there was only pain and blood.

When his mind was drifting away, all Robin saw was a woman with red hair and gorgeous green eyes. Eyes that smiled to him. Eyes that looked at him with nothing but love.

* * *

Robin didn't know what was happening around him. He didn't even know where he was. Joker and his lackeys were gone, that he could tell for sure. So where the heck he was?

His face was sticky, the blood smeared all over it. He vaguely remembered Joker cutting his cheek and then he'd been knocked out as they'd all escaped.

He raised his hand to his face. He knew he should be scared. He could as well look like his nemesis right now, but his lips were still intact, he realized as he felt around with his tongue. All he'd gotten was a cut on a cheek and another, just a superficial one on his forehead. He didn't care.

He heaved himself up and finally, after having wiped the blood from his eyes, recognized the part of the city he was in. It was very close to the manor, so he made his way back home.

It wasn't over though. He would still kill Joker. He just needed to cool off and go about this another way. He needed to be at his best. They didn't say that revenge was a dish best served cold for no reason.

* * *

"What the hell happened to you?!" Selina exclaimed when catching Robin blindly looking for a first aid kit in the cave. "Did you just go up against the Joker?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!... Here, let me do this!" She pushed him toward a chair and retrieved the kit herself, then took the items necessary for disinfecting Robin's cut.

"Auch!" he hissed when his cheek stung like hell.

"Well deserved one!" she scolded him. "What the hell, Blake?!"

"He needs to pay. He needs to pay for what he's done to her," Robin just answered.

"I know, but going about it like this won't fix anything. It may actually make things worse. Do you have a death wish? Actually… no, don't answer this one. It seems to be a common feature with all the Batmen I know."

"You know only two of them," they heard Bruce's voice as he stepped into the cave. He was strangely calmer, like he finally stopped blaming himself and accepted the situation.

Selina frowned, wondering what that was all about, but he just shook his head at her when her mouth opened to ask him.

"John, you can't do things like this. You'll regret it," Bruce just said when making his way to them and taking a closer look at Robin's face. "It could be worse," he just said.

"Oh, really?" Robin scoffed. "Thanks, man, that's really helpful!"

"I'm serious," Bruce told him. "Joker usually leaves his victims with the exact same damage to the face he has."

"And that wouldn't be pretty," Selina murmured under her nose.

"Have you seen her?" Robin asked Bruce. He didn't need to specify whom as he could refer to only one person.

"Yes." Bruce nodded. "I sneaked in. She's still refusing to see anyone, but I have a feeling she'll be alright. She's a strong and brave young woman. Despite to what she may think now, her life isn't over at all."

"Wonder how," Robin said sarcastically. "She'll only never walk again."

"Robin, we'll make a life for her. She'll be happy," Bruce promised, but his younger progeny didn't even want to hear him. As soon as Selina stopped caring to his cuts, he just left the room, slamming the door hard.

"What are you doing? Don't you see how he is?" Selina asked her lover. "Bruce, how can you be so optimistic about it? What if I was the one shot in the spine by Joker? What would happen then?" she asked the perfect question.

Bruce's expression changed, but he still said, "I would find a way to help. I would. Even if I had to move heaven and earth."

"It's nice to hear, but you can't just produce a miracle," Selina remarked.

"Maybe I can. Just… I can't tell John that yet. I don't want to give him a false hope… Selina, I need to leave for a while and I think it would be for the best if you stayed here."

"Oh, so you'd actually take me with you if I wasn't needed?" she wondered. "I thought we were over."

"No," Bruce denied and their eyes locked. "We're not. I'll be damned if I ever lose you. I'm still confused and I still don't know what to do about Joker and if he should die. I just… It's not who I am, but I am willing to put myself into your position. I love you too much to lose you."

"I love you too," she said, trying her best not to sound sappy, because she usually wasn't the kind of a woman that showed her feelings.

Bruce smiled at her and kissed her.

"Don't expect miracles from me though," Selina noticed, "If Blake wants to go after Joker, he will and even we together won't be able to stop him… Unless you want to tie him up."

"Not a good idea," Bruce agreed. "And I don't really mean Blake. I want you to keep an eye on Barbara. She needs company even when she says she doesn't."

"Of course," Selina agreed. "You can count on me in that."

"Great." He turned to the Bat.

"Flying somewhere, I see," Selina said. "Where are you going, Bruce?"

"Metropolis," he just answered.

* * *

**AN: **First, I have another short video for you about Robin going against Joker:

* * *

Youtube

* * *

watch?v=u3JseEEuXWQ

* * *

Full link in my profile

* * *

**AN2:** If you know me well, you'll figure out right now who can help Barbara.


	19. Chapter 18

**AN: **The guess in comment was that Bruce will seek help from Superman. Well… close enough. Only I'm not obsessed with Clark Kent:P

* * *

**Part 18**

Bruce landed right on top of the huge building that was dominating over all the others. He was already expected and the whole meeting was to be held in high confidence.

"I see that rumors about your death were greatly exaggerated," he was welcomed by a very old friend as he entered his office.

"And I hope it can stay that way," Bruce answered.

"Your secret's safe with me," Lex Luthor spoke as he finally raised from his chair and made his way to Bruce to shake his hand. "As I said over the phone, the whole procedure is on highly experimental stage."

"I take what I can get," Bruce just said.

"It's all based on the meteor rocks found in Smallville…" Lex began explaining as he led Bruce out of his office with the intention to show him the lab.

* * *

Robin didn't intend on giving up. He would raise from the ashes of his own self, his own spirit, he was determined to. Bruce had been thrown into a pit when his strength had been ultimately tested. Robin had lost what he held dearest.

He had only one goal right now. To kill the Joker.

Then nothing would matter anymore. He would no more be himself.

He wasn't so stupid now as to go face his nemesis with nothing. He held a gun. He was tired of an even fight. After all, Joker hadn't been fighting evenly. Why would Robin?

* * *

"You can bring her here immediately," Lex was telling Bruce after his scientists had explained everything there was to know about the procedure. "As you can see, there's no potential danger. It can only go one way, for the better. She'll either walk again or stay the way she is now."

"I just don't want to give her the false hope and then take it away," Bruce hesitated.

"At least you're giving her something. It's better than nothing, isn't it, old friend?"

"I need to make a few calls."

* * *

Selina was just about to go to a hospital to visit Barbara when her call rang. It was Bruce so she picked it up immediately.

"Yeah?"

"Selina, there's a chopper flying to Gotham right now. You need to get Barbara on it right away. There might be a way to help her, but make sure she doesn't get her hopes up too much. It might still not work out," Bruce informed.

"What about Blake?" Selina asked.

"You can tell him, of course. Maybe that'll give him something to live for again."

"Alright. I trust you, Bruce. I'll bring her." She hung up and ran down to the cave to notify Robin.

"Blake?!" she yelled. "Robin?!" Nothing but emptiness answered her and the echo of her own voice came back to her. "Fuck this kid," she cursed under her breath and came back to the manor.

On her way to the hospital she tried to call John several times, but he never picked up.

* * *

Robin was done. He was just done and he wouldn't come back here. Not ever. Maybe it was time for him to see the world, to try help other people, to be the vigilante and noting else. But not in Gotham. This city would be haunting him forever and he couldn't stay in it any second longer. After dealing with Joker, he would leave and never come back.

He ditched his cell phone in the nearest trash can. All he had was the gun.

"Where's Robin?" Barbara kept asking the whole way in the chopper. "I need him by my side. I know I pushed him away earlier, but… I need him now."

"Sweetie," Selina started in an exasperated voice. She was so angry with Blake that if she ever saw him again, she would kick his ass. "You don't need him. He's a jerk for only wanting revenge. You shouldn't be bothered by him. You're strong and you can do it all on your own."

* * *

All it took was to seek him out. Still, he seemed to be the one to find him again.

Robin didn't mind. It would be all over soon anyway.

"That's for all the evil you've ever done," he just said and reached for the gun.

There was a surprise and even something close to admiration that flicked through Joker's eyes in the second that preceded the shot. He was a maniac, man crazy enough to be actually happy that he was going to die, proud even at the fact that he'd managed to push Robin that far. Still, it wasn't as far as he might think. Robin would never become like him. He would just be darker. Done and tired with seeing the world in black and white like Bruce did.

The shot went out. The bullet hit Joker straight in the head. Blood spilled.

Then he was no more.

Robin smiled with cruelty and stepped over his body, then ditched the gun in the river when crossing the bridge.

He left Gotham behind.

* * *

"What happened?" asked Barbara when opening her eyes. The last few hours were all a blur to her. She vaguely remembered meeting the bald, yet so handsome owner of the company in Metropolis. The company Selina had taken her to on Bruce's request. LexCorp, Barbara finally remembered. And Lex Luthor. He'd promised he'd give her a chance to walk again.

Next thing she knew was being put under and then the pain. She felt pain in her entire body right now and yes, that also included her legs. Suddenly, she didn't care that it hurt. She was happy to feel it, to feel anything but that numbness.

"Robin?" was yet, the first thing she said.

"He's not here," answered another manly voice she knew.

"Bruce," she said and opened her eyes. "Where am I?"

"Back in the manor," he said with a smile. "It worked, Barbara. It worked."

She knew it by now, but still, it was hard to believe.

"Babs? Sweetie?" she heard her father's voice and Robin temporarily flew away from her mind.

"Dad?" She raised herself to a sitting position, still feeling the ache, but it was lowering gradually. She frowned though.

"It's the feeling returning," Bruce explained as he must notice it. "It's a good thing. All the nerves in your legs are responding. It'll be a while before you feel no pain, but…"

"I don't care!" she interrupted him, hugging her father and crying. "I can walk! I can walk again! Thank you so much!" After she let Gordon go, she hugged Bruce. He seemed rather surprised by it.

"It was my fault in the first place," he said defensively.

"No, it wasn't! It was Joker's!"

She let him go.

"Ok, now, where the hell is Robin?" she asked again, this time in an angry voice.

"That's more like it," Selina spoke from her position by the door. "Girl, that boy doesn't deserve you."

"Why? What happened?" Barbara asked quickly, scared of what she was about to learn.


	20. Chapter 19

**Part 19**

_Sometime later_

She was pummeling the sack like her life depended on it. Harder and harder, never giving up, never letting herself to slow down. Her body was already bathed in sweat, her muscles aching and burning, but she was still hitting.

"Barbara!" she heard Bruce's voice coming from behind her, but still, she didn't stop.

Bruce had been training her for quite some time now. As soon as she could walk again, she wanted nothing more than to just fight back. She was done being the damsel in distress that couldn't defend herself. She was done listening to others. She was done being unable to defend herself.

Fuck Robin and all he'd ever told her. All the fucking times he's tried to protect her! She wasn't a girl he could break up with on any occasion he seemed fit. She could handle herself. She could be strong too. She could go up against any enemy and succeeded in fight as well. She would not be abandoned, treated like something less than a man or having to be protected all the time. She could provide it all for herself. She would be respected and loved and if not, then such a man could go fucking fuck himself. She didn't needed him. She was strong all on her own!

"Barbara!" this time Bruce screamed even louder and was forced to grab her arms from behind her to immobilize her. "It's enough. You can stop now," he whispered into her ear.

"I will never stop!" she freed herself and kicked the sack so hard that the line it was hanging on broke and it fell to the floor. "I fight till the end," she said in a much quieter voice now as the enemy in her mind - the sack - was finally down.

"I have no doubt about that, but you need to be smart about it as well," Bruce schooled her. "Sometimes you need to back off to fight another day."

"I'm tired of backing off!" she yelled again and faced him. "I want to find him and rip his fucking guts out!"

"You might not be waiting for long, after all," they heard Selina's voice coming from the door that led to a gym they were in.

The manor was rebuilt by now, the Foundation back on running and it was becoming even more dangerous for Bruce and Selina to be living there. As Selina could actually show her face in the city, Bruce couldn't. Barbara knew he didn't feel well when staying inside for so long, only being able to get out under the cover of the night or in the Batman suit. She knew she would soon have to let them go and take Bruce's burden herself. Only she would welcome it, she wouldn't try to be like Robin. She would be her own self. The new vigilante. She would become the BatGirl.

"You found him?!" she threw the question at her friend.

"Maybe," Selina answered. "There's a new vigilante in Star City, but he already got in conflict with the Green Arrow as his methods are… let's just say, dubious. They call him the Angry One or The Dark One."

"That sounds exactly like Robin," Barbara admitted.

"Hate to say it, but it also sounds like you," Bruce cut in, laughing at the face Barbara threw him.

"I'll hit the shower and then go to Star City," Barbara decided and disappeared before anyone managed to stop her.

"Don't look at me," Selina warned Bruce. "She's an angry one and believe me, she won't stop being this way unit she either kill or fuck Blake and judging from the fact that she actually still loves the guy, I bet on fucking."

"Selina!"

"What?" she huffed at Bruce. "Those two need to resolve their problems so we could finally go our own way. I miss Florence, you know. It was peaceful there. No furious red-heads."

* * *

"You don't have to do this, you know," Jim Gordon said when Barbara dropped by his place to say a temporarily goodbye.

"I need to, dad. As much as I'm mad at him… he doesn't know that I'm healthy and back on my feet. I want to hit him and beat some sense into him, but on the other hand," Barbara just sighed heavily, "If something like that happened to him, I would break too."

"Yes, but he left and that makes all l the difference," Gordon said.

"I pushed him away. The blame never lies only on one side," she spoke. "I don't know what will happen with us, but I owe him the truth. And he owes me his truth. I'll back though, dad, you don't need to worry."

"I would be happier if you didn't," Gordon confessed. "You'd be much safer somewhere else."

"I like my job here and I'm proud of what I've learnt from Bruce," she said. "I need to stay, because it feels right. This city needs me."

"It's too bad, because I'm not staying," her father finally said.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I'm going back to my wife and kid, Babs. I decided that I can't waste myself like I've been doing here. They need me. And I know you need me too," he added quickly, "that is why I hoped you'd come with me."

She shook her head.

"Thanks, dad, but I can't. This is your life, but mine is here. I promise I'll be visiting a lot though."

They hugged.

"When Bruce and Selina leave as well, you'll have nothing left here," Gordon noticed when pulling away from her.

"Maybe, we'll see," Barbara just said.

* * *

From the moment she saw that new vignette in combat, she knew it was Robin. She knew she'd finally found him.

His movements were sloppy, she judged as she was watching him from a slight distance. There was so much anger and rage in what he was doing that it was blinding him. He'd never had a real trainer, all he knew he'd taught himself. She was angry too, but she was taught by Bruce how to transfer that anger into a good fight properly. She was almost smiling as the realization, that she was so much better now than Robin had ever been, hit her. She could take him down if only she wanted.

Screw the thief, she decided as the man Robin was fighting with was just running away. She jumped to Robin and attacked. He had no chance of running after the fugitive, he needed to fight back.

It took her about five seconds to win the fight. Robin was now lying sprawled on the ground as she was standing above him, hands on her hips.

"Beat ya," she just said.

For a moment there, Robin was confused. She was wearing her new suit and a bat mask after all, but then she raised her hand and took it off.

He gasped, the expression on his face priceless.

"Barbie?" he asked in a deep shock.

She thought she would triumph over him, that she would finally show him. Only what she felt at this moment was far from what she'd expected to feel. She was still angry alright, but she was hurt and yes, she was in love. As much as she hated to admit it, she still loved that man dearly and couldn't stop.

The scar on his cheek from Joker's attack clenched her heart. The anguish in his haunted eyes pained her.

"Robin," she said slowly and in a quiet voice as he heaved himself from the ground, shaking a little.

"How?" he just asked, looking at her in awe.

"Experimental treatment," she answered.

His hand wandered to her face, traced the lines of it, touched her cheeks, her nose, her lips.

Then they were acting purely on instinct, forgetting everything else. They jumped to each other and kissed hungrily.


	21. Chapter 20

**Part 20**

The door to Robin's shady apartment burst open as he carried Barbie inside and then walked straight to the small bed on which he just dropped her.

She could sense he changed. It wasn't the same Robin she'd known before and made love to. Still, she didn't care. There was something about this man with a scar, something primal. There was a new kind of strength emanating from him, seducing her. She couldn't even think about what she was about to tell him, about that she intended to yell at him. She could just feel.

Something was unfamiliar, but just the same everything else was so familiar to her. He was like oxygen and she didn't really want to think right now how he'd abandoned her, how he'd killed Joker, how he'd fled afterwards.

Robin was more savage now. As they were struggling to get their suits off, he actually ripped a part of Barbara's, destroying it. Then he was touching her, kissing hard and intensely. He was pushing her legs apart and sliding himself inside. Hard. He was moving inside of her and there was nothing gentle about it and she liked it. She could feel him all over her, touching her like he couldn't get enough of her body. He sucked on her nipples and pushed inside her again and her back ached, the first orgasm coming fast and as a surprise to her.

Robin was still going. Needed more. Needed it longer. Needed it harder. All that rage that he'd used to keep boiled inside was out now. All those things he'd wanted to do to her before, he was doing it right now.

Barbie was suddenly flipped over and taken doggy style, but she was so lost in ecstasy and feelings that she loved all he was giving her. She was just as desperate for him as he was for her.

Finally, she came again, screaming his name loudly, her channel viciously clenching over his cock and he let go, filling her with his seed and then collapsing on top of her.

For a moment there, they were just a tangle of exhausted bodies.

"You didn't want a cripple for a girlfriend, did you?" Barbara suddenly asked once her desire had been sated and the common sense returned to her. She got away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed with her back turned on Robin and she covered herself up with the sheet.

"What?" Robin gasped at the venom in her words. "No! I love you!" he denied and got out of the bed, put his pants on and crouched in front of her, looking up into her green eyes. "Barbie, you need to believe me. I _love you_. Never stopped and never will."

"But you still left me," she said, meeting his eyes hard.

"You told me to. You didn't want to see me," he nearly whispered and lowered his head, looking at the floor. "I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there for you, to help you."

"I didn't want to see anyone, yet Bruce sneaked inside and talked to me. Did you even care about me as much as you let me believe?" she asked again. "If you did, you would've gotten in no matter what."

"I know," Robin answered to her astonishment and that shut her up for the moment.

He sighed deeply as she was waiting patiently for him to continue. He finally raised up and sat by her side on the bed.

"I was afraid."

"Afraid of what? I wouldn't keep you trapped into a relationship like that, you know that. Still, it didn't mean I didn't want you in my life."

"It's not it," he said and looked her in the eye again. "I was afraid of myself."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Tears came to her eyes and she couldn't stop them. Hated herself for being that weak in front of this bastard.

"I changed. I'm not the same sweet man you fell for," he explained. "I killed. And I liked it. I let it all out. It's still out and I know you can tell."

Barbara was quiet.

"I was afraid you wouldn't love the new me. I rather you hated me," he confessed with muffled voice. "I hate me," he added.

"I don't," she suddenly reassured him, understanding coming to her. She did remember his story. The murdered parents. The rage inside. Swallowing the pain. Until it was all too much. "You're wrong," she told him, "I knew you would let it all out eventually and I was still there. I still fell in love with you. Love is about loving it all, otherwise it's not love at all."

For the very first time since his parents' dead, Robin actually shed a tear. When Barbara had gotten hurt, he'd been angry and kept throwing things around, but he'd never cried. Now he finally could and he was confused about it. It didn't seem like a manly thing to do.

"It's ok," she assured him. "Let it out. I'm here for you. I was looking for you all this time. I never gave up."

She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Please, please, forgive me," he found himself begging. "Forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you."

"You made me stronger. I needed that," she said into his ear, knowing it to be the truth. Without him leaving and dealing with his own fears and anger, she would've never been the woman she was today and she was grateful. She just didn't want any more of drama in her life. "I forgive you," she said after a while, realizing Robin was still waiting for her to say it. "I truly do."

* * *

_Epilogue_

"Bruce and Selina sent us another postcard," Barbie told Robin when he came back from his patrol. The city had been unusually peaceful for two months now, but they both knew better than to hope it would stay that way. Someday in the near or further future a new villain would appear and Gotham would need it's BatGirl and Robin.

"Where are they this time?" Robin asked when kissing his wife and then bending to place another kiss on her protruded stomach.

"Japan," Barbie answered.

She was still pissed at herself for not thinking about any birth control the night she'd found Robin. She'd used to be on the pill, but then the accident happened and that followed by her miraculous recovery and training left no room for thinking about anti-conception.

She was actually happy about the baby. With her and Robin together and in a solid relationship, she had nothing to be afraid of. She looked forward to welcoming the baby in the world and to being a mother. She and Robin would create a wonderful family in the Wayne Manor when still running the Foundation. She was sure of it. They both needed it as they'd been lonely for the most part of their lives. She was just upset that she was forced to hang out her suit.

Oh, she would come back to being the BatGirl after giving birth, she was sure of that. She would never give it up. She would also resume her training. Till she still could, she'd been training Robin, having so much fun pointing out all of his mistakes. And there was a lot! Then she'd been just giving him instructions while she'd been sitting down and watching him train.

"A couple more weeks," Robin said like he knew what she was thinking with that frown on her face.

"Good. I can't leave Gotham in the hands of my sidekick for longer," she teased him.

"I'm not a…"

"Keep telling yourself that," she winked at him and patted his arm. "Go get a shower, I'll be waiting in bed."

**The end**


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